"And nothing but the result of Municipal Ownership," put in the March Hare enthusiastically, forgetting his grouch for a moment. "It has other advantages, too," said the Hatter, "to which I feel I should call your attention. These phones being in every room in town with which anybody may be connected at any moment and thus overhear what other people are saying, gossip is gradually dying out, and people everywhere are more careful of what they say even in private, for nowadays the walls literally have ears. To give you an example, I will connect you at once with the home of the Duchess whom you met, if you remember, in your journey through Wonderland and you may judge for yourself of how useful this Municipaphone is to us in ascertaining the general trend of public opinion." [Illustration: "ALICE TRANSFIXED AT THE PHONE"] The Hatter gave the order to Central and in a minute Alice stood transfixed at the phone listening intently. She recognised the voice of the Duchess immediately. [Illustration: "THE BIGGEST JACKASS FROM DAN TO BEERSHEBA"] "As for that old fool of a Hatter," she was saying, "he is the biggest jackass from Dan to Beersheba." "Well?" said the Hatter. "Can you hear her?" "Yes," giggled Alice. "Very plainly." "What does she say?" asked the Hatter, simpering. "Why," said Alice reddening, "she--she's talking about you." "The dear Duchess," ejaculated the Hatter, with a foolish smirk. "I'm very much afraid--ahem--that the Duchess has her eye on me." "She has," said Alice. "She is referring to you in the warmest tones--she thinks you're big--great--the very greatest from Dan to Beersheba." "Ah me!" sighed the Hatter. "If I were only a younger man!" "They'll make a match of it yet," said the White Knight in a soft whisper to Alice. "Yes," sneered the March Hare, who had overheard, jealously, "and a fine old sulphur-headed lucifer of a match it will be too. "Well, it's all very nice," said Alice, very anxious to change the subject. "But I can't say that I'm sure I'd like it. Why, you can't have any secrets from anybody." "And why should you wish to, my dear child?" asked the Hatter, coming out of his dream of romance. "Why not so order your life that you have no need for secrecy?" "Yes," said Alice. "I suppose that is better, but then, Mr. Hatter, isn't there to be any more private life?" "Not under Municipal Ownership," said the Hatter. "Carried to its logical conclusion that with all other so-called private rights will be merged in the glorious culmination of a complete well rounded Municipal Life. It is toward that Grand Civic Eventuation that I and my associates in this noble movement are constantly striving." "Are you going to have Municipal Control of Marriage?" asked Alice, slyly.