I daresay you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist. The reason is, that I'm doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment? ALICE He might bite. DUCHESS Very true; flamingoes and mustard both bite. And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock together." ALICE Only mustard isn't a bird. DUCHESS Right, as usual; what a clear way you have of putting things. ALICE It's a mineral, I _think_. DUCHESS Of course it is; there's a large mustard mine near here. And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the less there is of yours." ALICE Oh! I know, it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is. DUCHESS I quite agree with you, and the moral of that is--"Be what you would seem to be;" or, if you'd like it put more simply, "Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise." ALICE I think I should understand that better if I had it written down, but I can't quite follow it as you say it. DUCHESS That's nothing to what I could say if I chose. ALICE Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that. DUCHESS Oh, don't talk about trouble; I make you a present of everything I've said as yet. ALICE Uhm! DUCHESS Thinking again? ALICE I've got a right to think. DUCHESS Just about as much right as pigs have to fly, and the moral-- [_The arm of the DUCHESS begins to tremble and her voice dies down. The QUEEN OF HEARTS stands before them with folded arms and frowning like a thunderstorm._] DUCHESS A fine day, your Majesty. QUEEN Now, I give you fair warning, either you or your head must be off, and that in about half no time. Take your choice! [_The DUCHESS goes meekly into the house._] [Illustration] QUEEN Let's go on with the game. [_She goes off and shouts at intervals, "Off with his head; off with her head."_] CAT How are you getting on? ALICE It's no use speaking to you till your ears have come. I don't think they play at all fairly and they all quarrel so and they don't seem to have any rules in particular. And you've no idea how confusing it is with all the things alive; there's the arch I've got to go through next walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming. [_Music begins._] CAT How do you like the Queen? ALICE Not at all; she's so extremely-- [_The KING, QUEEN and entire court enter. The QUEEN is near to ALICE. The music stops and all look at ALICE questioningly._] [_ALICE tries to propitiate the QUEEN._] --likely to win, [_Music continues._] that it's hardly worth while finishing the game. [_QUEEN smiles and passes on._] KING Who _are_ you talking to? ALICE It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat--allow me to introduce it. KING