[_She turns them over with her foot._] Turn over. Ah! I thought so! Get up! What have you been doing here? TWO-SPOT May it please your Majesty, we were trying-- WHITE QUEEN [_Examines rose._] I see! Begone, or I'll send the horses after you, and tell the Queen of Hearts. [_GARDENERS rush off. The RED QUEEN enters. ALICE has gone to the mushroom again to look at its sides and there to her amazement finds a gold crown and scepter, which she immediately appropriates. Music. The QUEENS watch ALICE superciliously. ALICE puts on her crown, proudly exclaiming in great elation, "Queen Alice," and walks down stage bowing right and left to the homage of imaginary subjects. She repeats as if scarcely daring to believe it true, "Queen Alice." Music stops._] RED QUEEN Ridiculous! ALICE Isn't this the Eighth Square? RED QUEEN You can't be a Queen, you know, till you've passed the proper examination. WHITE QUEEN The sooner we begin it, the better. ALICE Please, would you tell me-- RED QUEEN Speak when you're spoken to. ALICE But if everybody obeyed that rule, and if you only spoke when you were spoken to, and the other person always waited for you to begin, you see nobody would ever say anything, so that-- RED QUEEN Preposterous. ALICE I only said "if." RED QUEEN She says she only said "if." WHITE QUEEN [_Moans and wrings her hands._] But she said a great deal more than that. Ah, yes, so much more than that. RED QUEEN So you did, you know; always speak the truth--think before you speak--and write it down afterwards. ALICE I'm sure I didn't mean-- RED QUEEN That's just what I complained of. You _should_ have meant! What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning--and a child's more important than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with both hands. ALICE I don't deny things with my _hands_. RED QUEEN Nobody said you did. I said you couldn't if you tried. WHITE QUEEN She's in that state of mind, that she wants to deny _something_--only she doesn't know what to deny! RED QUEEN A nasty, vicious temper. I invite you to Alice's dinner party this afternoon. WHITE QUEEN And I invite _you_. ALICE I didn't know I was to have a party at all; but if there is to be one, I think I ought to invite the guests. RED QUEEN We gave you the opportunity of doing it, but I dare say you've not had many lessons in manners yet. ALICE Manners are not taught in lessons; lessons teach you to do sums, and things of that sort. WHITE QUEEN Can you do addition? What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one? ALICE I don't know. I lost count. RED QUEEN She can't do addition; can you do subtraction? Take nine from eight. ALICE Nine from eight I can't, you know, but-- WHITE QUEEN She can't do subtraction. Can you do division? Divide a loaf by a knife--what's the answer to that? ALICE