Not yet, not yet; there's a great deal to come before that. KING Call the first witness. WHITE RABBIT First witness! HATTER [_Comes in with a teacup in one hand and a piece of bread and butter in the other._] I beg your pardon, your Majesty, for bringing these in, but I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for. KING You ought to have finished; when did you begin? HATTER [_Looks at the MARCH HARE, who follows him arm-in-arm with the DORMOUSE._] Fourteenth of March, I _think_ it was. MARCH HARE Fifteenth. DORMOUSE Sixteenth. KING Write that down. JURY Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen--forty-five. Reduce that to shillings-- KING Take off your hat. HATTER It isn't mine. KING _Stolen!_ JURY Stolen! HATTER I keep them to sell. I've none of my own. I'm a hatter. QUEEN OF HEARTS [_Puts on her spectacles and stares at HATTER, who fidgets uncomfortably._] KING Give your evidence and don't be nervous, or I'll have you executed on the spot. [_The HATTER continues to shift nervously from one foot to the other, looks uneasily at the QUEEN, trembles so that he shakes off both of his shoes, and in his confusion bites a large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread and butter._] HATTER I'm a poor man, your Majesty, and I hadn't but just begun my tea--not above a week or so--and what with the bread and butter getting so thin--and the twinkling of the tea-- KING The twinkling of _what_? HATTER It began with the tea. KING Of course twinkling begins with a T. Do you take me for a dunce? Go on! HATTER I'm a poor man and most things twinkled after that--only the March Hare said-- MARCH HARE I didn't! HATTER You did. MARCH HARE I deny it. KING He denies it; leave out that part. QUEEN But what did the Dormouse say? HATTER That I can't remember. KING You _must_ remember or I'll have you executed. HATTER [_Drops teacup and bread and butter and goes down on one knee._] I'm a poor man, your Majesty. KING If that's all you know about it you may stand down. HATTER I can't go no lower; I'm on the floor as it is. KING Then you may sit down. HATTER I'd rather finish my tea. KING You may go. [_The HATTER goes out hurriedly, leaving one of his shoes behind._] QUEEN [_Nonchalantly to an officer._] And just take his head off outside. [_But the HATTER was out of sight before the officer could get to the door._] KING Call the next witness! WHITE RABBIT Next witness! [_The DUCHESS enters with a pepper pot, which she shakes about. Everybody begins to sneeze. MARCH HARE sneezes and rushes out._] KING Give your evidence! DUCHESS Shan't! WHITE RABBIT Your Majesty must cross-examine _this_ witness. KING Well, if I must, I must. What does your cook say tarts are made of? DUCHESS Pepper. [_The DUCHESS shakes the pot and the court sneezes._] DORMOUSE Treacle! [_The DUCHESS shakes the pot at him. He sneezes for the first time._] QUEEN