Alice's Adventures in Wonderland: HTML EditionCarroll, Lewis
General
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland: HTML Edition
Carroll, Lewis
Alice (Fictitious character from Carroll) -- Juvenile fiction; Children's stories; Fantasy fiction; Imaginary places -- Juvenile fiction
'You've no right to grow _here_,' said the Dormouse.
'Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: 'you know
you're growing too.'
'Yes, but _I_ grow at a reasonable pace,' said the
Dormouse: 'not in that ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very
sulkily and crossed over to the other side of the court.
All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the
Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to
one of the officers of the court, 'Bring me the list of the
singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter
trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.
'Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, 'or I'll have
you executed, whether you're nervous or not.'
'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a
trembling voice, '--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week
or so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and
the twinkling of the tea--'
'The twinkling of the _what_?' said the King.
'It _began_ with the tea,' the Hatter replied.
'Of course twinkling _begins_ with a T!' said the King
sharply. 'Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!'
'I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, 'and most things
twinkled after that--only the March Hare said--'
'I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.
'You did!' said the Hatter.
'I deny it!' said the March Hare.
'He denies it,' said the King: 'leave out that part.'
'Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on,
looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the
Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.
'After that,' continued the Hatter, 'I cut some more bread-
and-butter--'
'But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.
'That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.
'You _must_ remember,' remarked the King, 'or I'll have
you executed.'
The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter,
and went down on one knee. 'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he
began.
'You're a very poor _speaker_,' said the King.
Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately
suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a
hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had a
large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings: into
this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon
it.)
'I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. 'I've so often
read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some
attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the
officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant till
now.'
'If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,'
continued the King.
'I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: 'I'm on the floor, as
it is.'
'Then you may _sit_ down,' the King replied.
Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.
'Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. 'Now we
shall get on better.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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