All Men are GhostsJacks, L. P. (Lawrence Pearsall)
Philosophy
All Men are Ghosts
Jacks, L. P. (Lawrence Pearsall)
Short stories; Supernatural -- Fiction
So for an hour or more we wandered about looking out for old
gentlemen--"to do them good." Several whom we met were rejected by Billy
on the ground that they were not old enough, and allowed to pass
unquestioned. Some three or four came up to the standard, and at each
experiment we found that our magic formula worked with wonderful
success. It provoked smiles and kind words; it pleased the old
gentlemen; it did them good. Old hands were laid on young shoulders; old
faces lit up; old watches were pulled out of old pockets. One was a
marvel with a long inscription on the gold back of it. And the old
gentleman showed us the inscription, which stated that the watch had
been presented to him by his supporters for his services to political
progress and for the gallant way in which he had fought the election at
So-and-so in 1867. Yes, it did the old gentlemen good. But, be it
observed, Billy was the spokesman every time.
From that time onward, Billy and I were Masters in Magic, no less,
infatuated with our calling and devoted to our formula. The star-books
were bundled into Billy's play-box; the ten thousand tramcar tickets
were thrown into the fire.
Never since the world began, thought we, had a more glorious game been
invented, never had so important an enterprise been conceived by the wit
of man and entrusted to two apostles twelve years old. A world-wide
mission to old gentlemen was ours. Who would have believed there were so
many of them? They seemed to spring into existence, to gather themselves
from the four quarters of the earth, in order that they might receive
the healing touch of our formula. We met them in the street, in the
Park, by the river, at the railway station, coming out of
church--everywhere. And all were completely in our power. Oh, it was
magnificent!
So it went on for three or four weeks. But a shock was in store for us.
At first, as I have said, Billy was the spokesman. But there came a day
when it seemed good that some independence of action should be
introduced into the partnership. Billy went one way and I another.
Going on alone, I presently espied an old gentleman, of promising
antiquity, walking briskly down one of the gravel paths. He was
intermittently reading a newspaper. Trotting up behind him, I observed
that in the intervals of his reading he would be talking to himself. He
would read for half a minute and then, whipping the newspaper behind his
back, begin to declaim, as though he were making a speech, quickening
his pace meanwhile, so that I was hard put to it to keep up with him.
Indeed I had to run, and was out of breath when, coming up alongside, I
popped out my question, "If you please, sir, what o'clock is it?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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