Comedy plays; Florence (Italy) -- Drama; Married women -- Drama; Runaway husbands -- Drama
[Aside] One that goes with him. I love him for his sake;
And yet I know him a notorious liar,
Think him a great way fool, solely a coward;
Yet these fix'd evils sit so fit in him
That they take place when virtue's steely bones
Looks bleak i' th' cold wind; withal, full oft we see
Cold wisdom waiting on superfluous folly.
PAROLLES. Save you, fair queen!
HELENA. And you, monarch!
PAROLLES. No.
HELENA. And no.
PAROLLES. Are you meditating on virginity?
HELENA. Ay. You have some stain of soldier in you; let me ask
you a
question. Man is enemy to virginity; how may we barricado it
against him?
PAROLLES. Keep him out.
HELENA. But he assails; and our virginity, though valiant in
the
defence, yet is weak. Unfold to us some warlike resistance.
PAROLLES. There is none. Man, setting down before you, will
undermine you and blow you up.
HELENA. Bless our poor virginity from underminers and
blowers-up!
Is there no military policy how virgins might blow up men?
PAROLLES. Virginity being blown down, man will quicklier be
blown
up; marry, in blowing him down again, with the breach
yourselves
made, you lose your city. It is not politic in the
commonwealth
of nature to preserve virginity. Loss of virginity is
rational
increase; and there was never virgin got till virginity was
first
lost. That you were made of is metal to make virgins.
Virginity
by being once lost may be ten times found; by being ever
kept, it
is ever lost. 'Tis too cold a companion; away with't.
HELENA. I will stand for 't a little, though therefore I die a
virgin.
PAROLLES. There's little can be said in 't; 'tis against the
rule
of nature. To speak on the part of virginity is to accuse
your
mothers; which is most infallible disobedience. He that hangs
himself is a virgin; virginity murders itself, and should be
buried in highways, out of all sanctified limit, as a
desperate
offendress against nature. Virginity breeds mites, much like
a
cheese; consumes itself to the very paring, and so dies with
feeding his own stomach. Besides, virginity is peevish,
proud,
idle, made of self-love, which is the most inhibited sin in
the
canon. Keep it not; you cannot choose but lose by't. Out
with't.
Within ten year it will make itself ten, which is a goodly
increase; and the principal itself not much the worse. Away
with't.
HELENA. How might one do, sir, to lose it to her own liking?
PAROLLES. Let me see. Marry, ill to like him that ne'er it
likes.
'Tis a commodity will lose the gloss with lying; the longer
kept,
the less worth. Off with't while 'tis vendible; answer the
time
of request. Virginity, like an old courtier, wears her cap
out of
fashion, richly suited but unsuitable; just like the brooch
and
the toothpick, which wear not now. Your date is better in
your
pie and your porridge than in your cheek. And your virginity,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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