"Where have you been, Anthony?"
"Walking. I talked to four men. I mentioned no subject in the province
of the filter center."
"Every subject is in the province of the filter center. And you know
that our work here is confidential."
"Yes, sir, but I do not understand the import of my work here. I would
not be able to give out information that I do not have."
"A popular misconception. There are others who might understand the
import of it, and be able to reconstruct it from what you tell them.
How do you feel?"
"Nervous, unwell, my tongue is furred, my kidneys--"
"Ah yes, there will be someone here this afternoon to fix your kidneys.
I had not forgotten. Is there anything that you want to tell me?"
"No, sir."
Colonel Cooper had the habit of asking that of his workers in the
manner of a mother asking a child if he wants to go to the bathroom.
There was something embarrassing in his intonation.
Well, he did want to tell him something, but he didn't know how to
phrase it. He wanted to tell the colonel that he had newly acquired
the power of knowing everyone in the world, that he was worried how
he could hold so much in his head that was not noteworthy for its
capacity. But he feared ridicule more than he feared anything else and
he was a tangle of fears.
But he thought he would try it a little bit on his co-workers.
"I know a man named Walter Walloroy in Galveston," he said to Adrian.
"He drinks beer at the Gizmo bar, and is retired."
"What is the superlative of _so what_?"
"But I have never been there," said Anthony.
"And I have never been in Kalamazoo."
"I know a girl in Kalamazoo. Her name is Greta Harandash. She is home
today with a cold. She is prone to colds."
But Adrian was a creature both uninterested and uninteresting. It is
very hard to confide in one who is uninterested.
"Well, I will live with it a little while," said Anthony. "Or I may
have to go to a doctor and see if he can give me something to make all
these people go away. But if he thinks my story is a queer one, he may
report me back to the center, and I might be reclassified again. It
makes me nervous to be reclassified."
So he lived with it a while, the rest of the day and the night. He
should have felt better. A man had come that afternoon and fixed his
kidneys; but there was nobody to fix his nervousness and apprehensions.
And his skittishness was increased when the children hooted at him as
he walked in the morning. That hated epithet! But how could they know
that his father had been a dealer in used metals in a town far away?
* * * * *
He had to confide in someone.
He spoke to Wellington who also worked in his room. "I know a girl in
Beirut who is just going to bed. It is evening there now, you know."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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