"Yes, father. I've heard some of the real nice girls talk about getting
acquainted in that way, and they seem to think it all right. Someway, it
never seemed quite nice to me."
"I hope not, my daughter. I should be sorry to have you form acquaintances
in that way. You never can tell what a man's character is by his clothes
or manners. Indeed, you may think you know a man pretty well, and yet be
mistaken. I suppose girls who are familiar with young men and allow
them liberties imagine that they are trustworthy. I sat in front of two
young men on a train not long ago. They appeared well and really were
nice, as boys go, but they had the usual boy's idea as to honor. They
were talking freely of the girls they knew, discussing their merits and
charms, saying that this one was soft and 'huggable,' that another was
sweet to kiss--"
"O, father!" exclaimed Helen, in a fury of surprise and anger. "They
didn't talk that way so that you could hear! And call the girls by name,
too?"
"Yes, they did, dear. Then after they had discussed several, who all
seemed to allow great freedom, they mentioned another name, and their
whole manner changed. 'Ah,' said one, 'there's no nonsense about her.
It's 'hands off' there every time and'--he went on, with great emphasis,
'that's the kind of a girl I mean to marry. A man doesn't want to feel
that his wife's been slobbered over by all the young men of her
acquaintance.'"
Helen hid her face on her father's shoulder. "How perfectly dreadful!"
she said. "They were not gentlemen."
"I'll admit that,--and yet the conduct of the girls in permitting such
freedom was really an excuse for their speaking so discourteously of
them. The girls had not maintained their own self-respect, and therefore
had not secured the respect of the young men. The girl who respected
herself compelled respect from them, and that is the idea I wish to
impress on your mind. Never expect any one to respect you more than you
respect yourself, nor to shield your honor if you have placed yourself
in their power."
"But, father," said Helen hesitatingly, "most of the girls and boys
think it no harm to kiss each other good night, and the girls say the
boys would be offended if a girl refused."
"They are mistaken. Of course, the boys like to have the girls think so;
but they don't talk that way among themselves, you may be sure."
"But, you see, father," urged Helen, hesitatingly, "they say they are
engaged, and that makes it all right."
"How long do they stay engaged?" asked Mr. Wayne. "Do they really
consider it a true engagement, to end ultimately in marriage, or is it
merely an excuse for freedom of association?"
"O, they're all the time breaking their engagements. I don't believe
they expect them to last very long. Now, there's Dora Ills. She's only
sixteen and she says she's been engaged four times, and when she breaks
the engagement she doesn't give back the ring. She's making a collection
of engagement rings, she says."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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