Whether he reproached her or not, the revelation did not diminish his
regard for her. Except at their first agitating interview, he never
adverted to the unfinished duel; but he seemed drawn to her by a new
tie, in the recollection of her readiness to adventure so much in his
behalf. Ellen Morris had left town for a visit to Petersburg, the day
after the rupture:--left without a message or line of penitence or
conciliation. Lynn did not complain, but his moodiness subsided into a
pensiveness, illumined by the flashes of his former animation, like the
sparkle of smouldering embers.
It was during one of these gleams that he spent the evening at the
rendezvous of what Josephine styled the "Dana clique." John Dana and
his amiable wife were great favorites of his and Mr. Lacy's. Their
friendly calls may have been more frequent because it was Ida's chief
visiting place. Mr. Dana was in New York, and she had dined and taken
tea with her friend.
Lynn came in with Charley, and the latter, excusing himself for an hour
after supper, left Ida and the young artist together.
"I have been thinking lately, how sublime a thing is philanthropy,"
said Lynn, throwing himself with boyish abandon, upon the rug at her
feet. "I welcome this train of thought as a sign, that I am growing
less selfish, for I have been sadly, sinfully selfish, Ida--madly
intent upon my schemes, my happiness--forgetting that God placed me
in the world to benefit others. Lacy was in my studio to-day, and we
had a talk upon this subject. He says there is always a reflex tide
of the happiness we send forth to those around us; a purer, truer joy
than self-gratification. 'In this respect,' he observed, 'we can best
imitate the example of our Supreme Benefactor.' Imitate our Creator,
Ida! that is something worth living for."
"You have much besides, to make life precious, Lynn. I remember when it
seemed worthless to me; when I thought I had tasted all the sweetness
it possessed--I have changed my opinion since."
"Ah! but you have never bowed soul and spirit to an idol, and 'found it
clay;' never realised in the dread hour that saw its demolition, that
the fairest growth of heart and mind--the plants which you flattered
yourself were climbing heavenward, had only twined themselves with
strengthening tendrils about the altar of that one love! I know the
meaning of the expression, 'broken cisterns, which can hold no water.'
I have felt for some time past as if my heart were a stagnant marsh,
flooded by wasted affections. To-day I have been happier, more hopeful.
I will begin life anew, and strive for my art and for my kind."
"I have often told you that you have rare qualifications for
usefulness," rejoined Ida. "Your besetting fault is unsteadiness of
purpose; the best resolutions avail nothing if they are not adhered to."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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