Essays; Humorous stories, American; Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Two days later, on Saturday morning, I arose, a tottering wreck, and
went forth to fulfil an engagement with a valued friend, the Rev.
Mr.------, to walk to the Talcott Tower, ten miles distant. He stared at
me, but asked no questions. We started. Mr.------ talked, talked, talked
as is his wont. I said nothing; I heard nothing. At the end of a mile,
Mr.------ said “Mark, are you sick? I never saw a man look so haggard
and worn and absent-minded. Say something, do!”
Drearily, without enthusiasm, I said: “Punch brothers, punch with care!
Punch in the presence of the passenjare!”
My friend eyed me blankly, looked perplexed, then said:
“I do not think I get your drift, Mark. There does not seem to be any
relevancy in what you have said, certainly nothing sad; and yet--maybe
it was the way you said the words--I never heard anything that sounded
so pathetic. What is--”
But I heard no more. I was already far away with my pitiless,
heartbreaking “blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, buff trip slip
for a six-cent fare, pink trip slip for a three-cent fare; punch in
the presence of the passenjare.” I do not know what occurred during the
other nine miles. However, all of a sudden Mr.------ laid his hand on my
shoulder and shouted:--
“Oh, wake up! wake up! wake up! Don't sleep all day! Here we are at the
Tower, man! I have talked myself deaf and dumb and blind, and never got
a response. Just look at this magnificent autumn landscape! Look at
it! look at it! Feast your eye on it! You have traveled; you have seen
boasted landscapes elsewhere. Come, now, deliver an honest opinion. What
do you say to this?”
I sighed wearily; and murmured:--
“A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, a pink trip slip for a three-cent
fare, punch in the presence of the passenjare.”
Rev. Mr. ------ stood there, very grave, full of concern, apparently,
and looked long at me; then he said:--
“Mark, there is something about this that I cannot understand. Those are
about the same words you said before; there does not seem to be anything
in them, and yet they nearly break my heart when you say them. Punch in
the--how is it they go?”
I began at the beginning and repeated all the lines.
My friend's face lighted with interest. He said:--
“Why, what a captivating jingle it is! It is almost music. It flows
along so nicely. I have nearly caught the rhymes myself. Say them over
just once more, and then I'll have them, sure.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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