Essays; Humorous stories, American; Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
One forenoon the Reverend ascended the stairs and knocked at Alonzo's
door. There was no response. He entered, glanced eagerly around, closed
the door softly, then ran to the telephone. The exquisitely soft and
remote strains of the “Sweet By-and-by” came floating through the
instrument. The singer was flatting, as usual, the five notes that
follow the first two in the chorus, when the Reverend interrupted her
with this word, in a voice which was an exact imitation of Alonzo's,
with just the faintest flavor of impatience added:
“Sweetheart?”
“Yes, Alonzo?”
“Please don't sing that any more this week--try something modern.”
The agile step that goes with a happy heart was heard on the stairs,
and the Reverend, smiling diabolically, sought sudden refuge behind the
heavy folds of the velvet window-curtains. Alonzo entered and flew to
the telephone. Said he:
“Rosannah, dear, shall we sing something together?”
“Something modern?” asked she, with sarcastic bitterness.
“Yes, if you prefer.”
“Sing it yourself, if you like!”
This snappishness amazed and wounded the young man. He said:
“Rosannah, that was not like you.”
“I suppose it becomes me as much as your very polite speech became you,
Mr. Fitz Clarence.”
“Mister Fitz Clarence! Rosannah, there was nothing impolite about my
speech.”
“Oh, indeed! Of course, then, I misunderstood you, and I most humbly
beg your pardon, ha-ha-ha! No doubt you said, 'Don't sing it any more
to-day.'”
“Sing what any more to-day?”
“The song you mentioned, of course, How very obtuse we are, all of a
sudden!”
“I never mentioned any song.”
“Oh, you didn't?”
“No, I didn't!”
“I am compelled to remark that you did.”
“And I am obliged to reiterate that I didn't.”
“A second rudeness! That is sufficient, sir. I will never forgive you.
All is over between us.”
Then came a muffled sound of crying. Alonzo hastened to say:
“Oh, Rosannah, unsay those words! There is some dreadful mystery here,
some hideous mistake. I am utterly earnest and sincere when I say I
never said anything about any song. I would not hurt you for the whole
world.... Rosannah, dear speak to me, won't you?”
There was a pause; then Alonzo heard the girl's sobbings retreating,
and knew she had gone from the telephone. He rose with a heavy sigh, and
hastened from the room, saying to himself, “I will ransack the charity
missions and the haunts of the poor for my mother. She will persuade her
that I never meant to wound her.”
A minute later the Reverend was crouching over the telephone like a cat
that knoweth the ways of the prey. He had not very many minutes to wait.
A soft, repentant voice, tremulous with tears, said:
“Alonzo, dear, I have been wrong. You could not have said so cruel a
thing. It must have been some one who imitated your voice in malice or
in jest.”
The Reverend coldly answered, in Alonzo's tones:
“You have said all was over between us. So let it be. I spurn your
proffered repentance, and despise it!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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