AMATEUR IN CHANCERY By GEORGE O. SMITH [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Galaxy Magazine October 1961. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] The creature from Venus didn't know right from left--and life and death hung in the balance! Paul Wallach came into my office. He looked distraught. By some trick of selection, Paul Wallach, the director of Project Tunnel, was one of the two men in the place who did not have a string of doctor's and scholar's degrees to tack behind their names. The other was I. "Trouble, Paul?" I asked. He nodded, saying, "The tunnel car is working." "It should. It's been tested enough." "Holly Carter drew the short straw." "Er--" I started and then stopped short as the implication became clear. "She's--she's--not--?" "Holly made it to Venus all right," he said. "Trouble is we can't get her back." "Can't get her back?" He nodded again. "You know, we've never really known very much about the atmosphere of Venus." "Yes." "Well, from what little came through just before Holly blacked out, it seems that there must be one of the cyanogens in the atmosphere in a concentration high enough to effect nervous paralysis." "Meaning?" "Meaning," said Paul Wallach in a flat tone, "that Holly Carter stopped breathing shortly after she cracked the airlock. And her heart stopped beating a minute or so later." "Holly--dead?" "Not yet, Tom," he said. "If we can get her back in the next fifteen or twenty minutes, modern medicine can bring her back." "But there'll be brain damage!" "Oh, there may be some temporary impairment. Nothing that retraining can't restore. The big problem is to bring her back." "We should have built two tunnel cars." "We should have done all sorts of things. But when the terminal rocket landed on Venus, everybody in the place was too anxious to try it out. Lord knows, I tried to proceed at a less headlong pace. But issuing orders to you people is a waste of time and paper." I looked at him. "Doc," I asked, giving him the honorary title out of habit, "Venus is umpty-million miles from here. We haven't another tunnel car, and no rocket could make it in time to do any good. So how can we hope to rescue Holly?" "That's the point," said Wallach. "Venus, it appears, is inhabited." "Oh?" "That's what got Holly caught in the first place. She landed, then saw this creature approaching. Believing that no life could exist in an atmosphere dangerous to life, she opened the airlock and discovered otherwise." "So?" "So now all we have to do is to devise some way of explaining to a Venusian the difference between left and right. I thought you might help." "But I'm just a computer programmer."