Didactic fiction; Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Married women -- Fiction
“Many months, however, passed after this, before I ever thought
seriously of making her my wife. Not that I wanted sufficient love for
Amelia. Indeed it arose from the vast affection I bore her. I considered
my own as a desperate fortune, hers as entirely dependent on her mother,
who was a woman, you know, of violent passions, and very unlikely to
consent to a match so highly contrary to the interest of her daughter.
The more I loved Amelia, the more firmly I resolved within myself never
to propose love to her seriously. Such a dupe was my understanding to
my heart, and so foolishly did I imagine I could be master of a flame to
which I was every day adding fuel.
“O, Miss Matthews! we have heard of men entirely masters of their
passions, and of hearts which can carry this fire in them, and conceal
it at their pleasure. Perhaps there may be such: but, if there are,
those hearts may be compared, I believe, to damps, in which it is more
difficult to keep fire alive than to prevent its blazing: in mine it was
placed in the midst of combustible matter.
“After several visits, in which looks and sighs had been interchanged on
both sides, but without the least mention of passion in private, one
day the discourse between us when alone happened to turn on love; I
say happened, for I protest it was not designed on my side, and I am as
firmly convinced not on hers. I was now no longer master of myself; I
declared myself the most wretched of all martyrs to this tender
passion; that I had long concealed it from its object. At length, after
mentioning many particulars, suppressing, however, those which must have
necessarily brought it home to Amelia, I concluded with begging her
to be the confidante of my amour, and to give me her advice on that
occasion.
“Amelia (O, I shall never forget the dear perturbation!) appeared all
confusion at this instant. She trembled, turned pale, and discovered how
well she understood me, by a thousand more symptoms than I could take
notice of, in a state of mind so very little different from her own. At
last, with faltering accents, she said I had made a very ill choice of
a counsellor in a matter in which she was so ignorant.--Adding, at last,
‘I believe, Mr. Booth, you gentlemen want very little advice in these
affairs, which you all understand better than we do.’
“I will relate no more of our conversation at present; indeed I am
afraid I tire you with too many particulars.”
“O, no!” answered she; “I should be glad to hear every step of an amour
which had so tender a beginning. Tell me everything you said or did, if
you can remember it.”
He then proceeded, and so will we in the next chapter.
Chapter ii.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account