Didactic fiction; Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Married women -- Fiction
Perhaps the critical reader may have the same doubt with Miss Matthews;
and lest he should, we will here make a gap in our history, to give him
an opportunity of accurately considering whether this conduct of Mr.
Booth was natural or no; and consequently, whether we have, in this
place, maintained or deviated from that strict adherence to universal
truth which we profess above all other historians.
Chapter iii.
_The narrative continued. More of the touchstone._
Booth made a proper acknowledgment of Miss Matthew’s civility, and then
renewed his story. “We were upon the footing of lovers; and Amelia threw
off her reserve more and more, till at length I found all that return of
my affection which the tenderest lover can require.
“My situation would now have been a paradise, had not my happiness been
interrupted with the same reflections I have already mentioned; had I
not, in short, concluded, that I must derive all my joys from the almost
certain ruin of that dear creature to whom I should owe them.
“This thought haunted me night and day, till I at last grew unable to
support it: I therefore resolved in the strongest manner, to lay it
before Amelia.
“One evening then, after the highest professions of the most
disinterested love, in which Heaven knows my sincerity, I took an
occasion to speak to Amelia in the following manner:--
“Too true it is, I am afraid, my dearest creature, that the highest
human happiness is imperfect. How rich would be my cup, was it not for
one poisonous drop which embitters the whole! O, Amelia! what must be
the consequence of my ever having the honour to call you mine!--You know
my situation in life, and you know your own: I have nothing more than
the poor provision of an ensign’s commission to depend on; your sole
dependence is on your mother; should any act of disobedience defeat
your expectations, how wretched must your lot be with me! O, Amelia! how
ghastly an object to my mind is the apprehension of your distress! Can
I bear to reflect a moment on the certainty of your foregoing all the
conveniences of life? on the possibility of your suffering all its most
dreadful inconveniencies? what must be my misery, then, to see you in
such a situation, and to upbraid myself with being the accursed cause
of bringing you to it? Suppose too in such a season I should be summoned
from you. Could I submit to see you encounter all the hazards, the
fatigues of war, with me? you could not yourself, however willing,
support them a single campaign. What then; must I leave you to starve
alone, deprived of the tenderness of a husband, deprived too of the
tenderness of the best of mothers, through my means? a woman most
dear to me, for being the parent, the nurse, and the friend of my
Amelia.---But oh! my sweet creature, carry your thoughts a little
further. Think of the tenderest consequences, the dearest pledges of our
love. Can I bear to think of entailing beggary on the posterity of my
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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