Yankton Indians -- Government relations; Yankton Indians -- Social conditions; Yankton women -- Biography; Zitkala-Sa, 1876-1938
Upon a mat lay my father, with furrowed face and gray hair. His eyes and
cheeks were sunken far into his head. His sallow skin lay thin upon his
pinched nose and high cheekbones. Stooping over him, I took his fevered
hand. "How, Ate?" I greeted him. A light flashed from his listless eyes
and his dried lips parted. "My son!" he murmured, in a feeble voice.
Then again the wave of joy and recognition receded. He closed his eyes,
and his hand dropped from my open palm to the ground.
Looking about, I saw an old woman sitting with bowed head. Shaking hands
with her, I recognized my mother. I sat down between my father and
mother as I used to do, but I did not feel at home. The place where my
old grandmother used to sit was now unoccupied. With my mother I bowed
my head. Alike our throats were choked and tears were streaming from our
eyes; but far apart in spirit our ideas and faiths separated us. My
grief was for the soul unsaved; and I thought my mother wept to see a
brave man's body broken by sickness.
Useless was my attempt to change the faith in the medicine-man to that
abstract power named God. Then one day I became righteously mad with
anger that the medicine-man should thus ensnare my father's soul. And
when he came to chant his sacred songs I pointed toward the door and
bade him go! The man's eyes glared upon me for an instant. Slowly
gathering his robe about him, he turned his back upon the sick man and
stepped out of our wigwam. "Ha, ha, ha! my son, I can not live without
the medicine-man!" I heard my father cry when the sacred man was gone.
III.
On a bright day, when the winged seeds of the prairie-grass were flying
hither and thither, I walked solemnly toward the centre of the
camping-ground. My heart beat hard and irregularly at my side. Tighter I
grasped the sacred book I carried under my arm. Now was the beginning of
life's work.
Though I knew it would be hard, I did not once feel that failure was to
be my reward. As I stepped unevenly on the rolling ground, I thought of
the warriors soon to wash off their war-paints and follow me.
At length I reached the place where the people had assembled to hear me
preach. In a large circle men and women sat upon the dry red grass.
Within the ring I stood, with the white man's Bible in my hand. I tried
to tell them of the soft heart of Christ.
In silence the vast circle of bareheaded warriors sat under an afternoon
sun. At last, wiping the wet from my brow, I took my place in the ring.
The hush of the assembly filled me with great hope.
I was turning my thoughts upward to the sky in gratitude, when a stir
called me to earth again.
A tall, strong man arose. His loose robe hung in folds over his right
shoulder. A pair of snapping black eyes fastened themselves like the
poisonous fangs of a serpent upon me. He was the medicine-man. A tremor
played about my heart and a chill cooled the fire in my veins.
Scornfully he pointed a long forefinger in my direction and asked:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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