Quid istuc est, mi vir, negoti, quod tu tam subito domo abeas? (_plaintively_) Why, my husband, what is it takes you away so suddenly? _Iup._ _Jup._ Edepol haud quod tui me neque domi distaedeat; sed ubi summus imperator non adest ad exercitum, citius quod non facto est usus fit quam quod facto est opus. No weariness of you and home, I swear to that. But when the commander-in-chief is not with his army, things are much more liable to go wrong than right. _Mer._ Nimis hic scitust sycophanta, qui quidem meus sit pater. observatote eum, quam blande muliori palpabitur. (_aside_) Ah, he’s a sly old dodger--does me[D] credit, my father does! Notice how suavely he’ll smooth her down. [Footnote D: Mercury was the patron god of roguery.] _Alc._ Ecastor te experior quanti facias uxorem tuam. (_pouting_) Oh yes, I’m learning how much you think of your wife. _Iup._ _Jup._ Satin habes, si feminarum nulla est quam aeque diligam? (_fondly_) Isn’t it enough that you’re the dearest woman in the world to me? (_embraces her_) _Mer._ Edepol ne illa si istis rebus te sciat operam dare 510 ego faxim ted Amphitruonem esse malis, quam Iovem. (_aside_) Now, now, sir! Just let the lady up yonder (_pointing thumb heavenward_) learn of your performances here, and I’ll guarantee you’d rather be Amphitryon than Jove. _Alc._ Experiri istuc mavellem me quam mi memorarier. prius abis quam lectus ubi cubuisti concaluit locus. heri venisti media nocte, nunc abis. hocin placet? Actions speak louder than words. Here you are leaving me before your place on the couch had time to get warm. You came last night at midnight, and now you are going. Does that seem right? _Mer._ Accedam atque hanc appellabo et subparasitabor patri. numquam edepol quemquam mortalem credo ego uxorem suam sic ecflictim amare, proinde ut hic te ecflictim deperit. (_aside_) I’ll go slip a word in and play henchman to my father. (_to Alcmena, stepping up_) Lord, ma’am, I don’t believe there’s a mortal man alive loves his own wife (_glancing slyly at Jupiter_) so madly as the mad way he dotes on you. _Iup._ _Jup._ Carnufex, non ego te novi? abin e conspectu meo? quid tibi hanc curatio est rem, verbero, aut muttitio? quon ego iam hoc scipione-- (_angrily_) You rascal, don’t I know you? Out of my sight, will you! What business have you to interfere with this matter, or to breathe a word about it, you scamp? I’ll take my cane this instant and-- _Alc._ Ah noli. (_seizing his arm_) Oh, please don’t! _Iup._ _Jup._ Muttito modo. 520 You just breathe a word now! _Mer._ Nequiter paene expedivit prima parasitatio.