CLE. Oh! You perfidious wretch, must I give up hope that a heart sighs for me? MERC. No, I should be sorry to say that; but I have too long a beard to dare to sigh; I should make you die of laughter. CLE. You brute, do you deserve the good fortune of having a virtuous woman for your wife? MERC. Good Heavens! You are but too virtuous; this fine virtue is not worth anything to me. Do not be quite so honest a woman, and don't bother me so much. CLE. What? Do you blame me for being too honest? MERC. A woman's gentleness is what charms me most: your virtue makes a clatter that never ceases to deafen me. CLE. You care for hearts full of false tenderness, for those women with the laudable and fine talent of knowing how to smother their husbands with caresses in order to make them oblivious of the existence of lovers. MERC. Well! Shall I tell you what I think? An imaginary evil concerns fools only; my device should be: 'Less honour and more peace.' CLE. Would you, without any repugnance, suffer me openly to love a gallant? MERC. Yes, if I were no longer worried by your tongue, and if it changed your temper and your goings-on. I prefer a convenient vice, to a fatiguing virtue. Adieu, Cleanthis, my dear soul; I must follow Amphitryon. (He goes away.) CLE Why has not my heart sufficient resolution to punish this infamous scoundrel? Ah, how it maddens me, now, that I am an honest woman! END OF THE FIRST ACT ACT II SCENE I AMPHITRYON, SOSIE AMPH. Come here, you rascal, come here. Do you know, Master Villain, that your talk is sufficient to cause me to knock you down, and that my wrath waits only for a stick to thrash you as I intend? SOS. If you take it in that way, Monsieur, I have nothing more to say; you will be always in the right. AMPH. So? You scoundrel, you wish to impose upon me as truths tales which I know to be extravagantly far-fetched? SOS. No; I am the servant, and you are the master; it shall not be otherwise than you wish it, Monsieur. AMPH. Come, I will choke down the anger that inflames me, and hear all you have to say about your mission. I must unravel this confusion before I see my wife. Collect your senses, think well over what you say, and answer each question word for word. SOS. But, lest I make a mistake, tell me, I beseech you, beforehand, in what way it would please you to have this affair healed. Shall I speak, Monsieur, according to my conscience, or as usual when near the great? Shall I tell the truth or use a certain complaisance? AMPH. No; I only wish you to give me a perfectly unvarnished account. SOS. Good. That is enough; leave it to me; you have, but to interrogate me. AMPH. Upon the order which I lately gave you... SOS. I set forth under skies veiled in black crape, swearing bitterly against you for this wretched martyrdom, and cursing twenty times the order of which you speak. AMPH. What do you mean, you villain? SOS. You have only to speak, Monsieur, and I shall lie, if you desire it.