An Act in a BackwaterBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
An Act in a Backwater
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
City and town life -- Fiction; Courtship -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Siblings -- Fiction
Morton Hall, the country-seat of the Colonel’s noble relative, was only
a few miles out of Wroxton, and when he returned home that evening to
dinner, after breaking the news of Lord Avesham’s death to Mrs. Raymond
and his daughters, he held a loud, overbearing discussion across the
table (for at home, as among his old cronies, his gallantry was relaxed)
as to whether the eldest son of his deceased relative would be able to
keep it open. The family was poor, and the Colonel asserted angrily, as
if he had been personally affronted, that the death duties would be so
heavy that they would have to let it.
“Don’t tell me,” he said, sipping his soup with a sound of many waters,
though nobody had told him anything. “Don’t tell me. They are as poor as
rats. Pepper, give me the pepper. I’d sooner wash my hands in this soup,
Constance, than drink it. Simple water, simple warm water. As poor as
rats. Poorer. It’s all that infernal Radical government. We are the best
blood in England--the Aveshams are the best blood in England, and have
served their king and country for five hundred years. There ought to be
a government grant. Take away the soup.”
Mrs. Raymond was a resigned and feeble woman, with a thin, vague face
which it was impossible to remember. Ten years of married life with her
husband had made a phantom of her. She had the wreck of long-departed
prettiness about her, but that had been sunk, becoming, as it were, a
total loss, leaving her face devoid of any qualities. Her mind was
destitute of hopes, aims, and regrets; she was as intangible to
description as a moonbeam.
“It would be impossible to provide for all the families of all the poor
peers in England, Robert,” she suggested.
“Impossible? Yes, if you have a government of Atheists and Socialists,
who are afraid of the Sultan, and wish to abolish the House of
Lords--God bless it! That is where the fault lies. England is going to
the dogs. I wish, Constance, you would sometimes get hold of fish that
is eatable. Worcester sauce. Give me the Worcester sauce. Venison--my
fish is venison. Going to the dogs. Why, in the good old days it was
sufficient for a man to be connected with a bishop or a peer to make
sure of a government office. The apotheosis of the brewer, that’s what I
call the England of to-day. Take away the fish. What else is there for
dinner?”
“It is very hard to get good fish in this weather,” said Mrs. Raymond.
“It is next to impossible to keep it.”
“Impossible? Nonsense. You women have no method. You’ve only got to keep
it cool. No method at all. You keep fish all day in a hot kitchen, and
then expect it to be good in the evening.”
“The fish was only sent in at half past six this evening,” said his
wife, in a low, monotonous voice. “It was so late I thought it would not
be here in time for dinner.”
“And a good thing if it hadn’t been,” retorted the Colonel; “I’d sooner
have no fish at all than fish like that--uneatable, perfectly
uneatable.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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