An Almond for a Parrot: Being a reply to Martin Mar-Prelate.
Religion
An Almond for a Parrot: Being a reply to Martin Mar-Prelate.
Marprelate controversy
proximus cogitari formidat.” A wicked mind liues in continuall toile,
because it eyther meditates the iniuries which he is about to inferre,
or feares some reproch to be inferred by others, and whatsoeuer hee
pretendes agaynst his neighbor, the same he mistrusts to be pretended
against himselfe. If T. C. hath made thee his atturney, to vrge the not
answering of his bookes, then I praie thee bee my Mercurie this once, and
tell him thus much from _Mar-Martine_, that he hath vndone more Printers
with his py-bald pamphlets, then his dish-clout dicipline will sette vp
agayne this seauen yeeres. Much inkehorne stuffe hath hee vttered in a
iarring stile, and intruded a greate deale of trashe to our eares by a
daintie figure of _idem peridem_, but for anie new peece of arte he hath
shewed in those idle editions, other then that his famous aduersary hath
before time confuted, he may wel enough bequeth it to Dunce or Dorbel,
whēce his blundering capacity is lineally descended. What maister T.C.
you think that no man dare touch you, because you haue plaid the scuruie
scolde anie time these twentie yeeres, but Ile so hamper your holynes for
all the offences of your youth, as all geering puritans shall haue small
cause to insult and reioyce at my silence. Then see whether I dare stand
to the defence of your defame or no. Take heede good-man Howlyglasse,
that I make not such a hole in your coate the nexte Tearme, as _Martine_
and his sonnes shall not sowe vp in hast, I tel you I am a shreud fellow
at the vncasing of a fox, and haue cats eyes to looke into euerie corner
of a Puritans house. I warrant you my brother _Pag._ will saie so, by
that time I haue talkte with him a little, who although hee bee none of
the straightest men that euer God made, yet hath he as good skill in
milche bullocks, as anie huswife within fortie miles of his head. Let him
alone, and if he doe not know by a cowes water, how many pintes of milke
she will give in a yeere, then wyll he neuer help his wife to make cheese
agayn whiles hee liues: and without offence to his Pastorshippe bee it
spoken, hee will saie pretyly well to a henne, if shee bee not too olde,
alwayes prouided, shee haue a neaste of cleane strawe in his studie, and
hee groape her with his owne handes euening and morning. Then see if hee
doe not make three pounds a yeere of her ouer and aboue all costes and
charges. I marie sir, is not this a husbande in deede, that besides the
multiplying of the Church of God, in his householde ministerie, will
keepe his wife and familie by crosse bargaines a whole twelue moneth.
What woulde he doe my maisters, if he had two good legges, that wil thus
bestirre him in his vocation with one and a stump. The world may saie
he is lame, and so forth, but hee that had seene him runne from Houns
the other daie, for getting his maide with childe, woulde neuer thinke
so. I meruaile with what face our Bishoppes could depriue such a man of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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