Joy held the letter in her hand a long time, lost in profound reflection.
Then she sat down to her desk and wrote three letters; one was to Mrs
Lawrence; one to the chairman of the church committee, who had requested
her resignation; the third was to Mr Stuart, and read thus:
“MY DEAR MR STUART,—Many strange things have occurred to me since I
saw you. I have learned the name of my father, and this knowledge
reveals the fact to me that your unfortunate wife was my half-sister.
I have learned, too, that the loss of my position here as organist is
not due to the narrow prejudice of the committee regarding the shadow
on my birth, but to malicious stories put in circulation by Mrs
Lawrence, relating to me.
“Infamous and libellous tales regarding my life have been told, and
must be refuted. I have written to Mrs Lawrence demanding a letter
from her, clearing my personal character, or giving her the
alternative of appearing in court to answer the charge of defamation
of character. I have also written to the church committee requesting
them to meet me here in my apartments to-morrow, and explain their
demand for my resignation.
“I now write to you my last letter and my farewell.
“In the overwrought and desperate mood in which you found me, it did
not seem a sin for me to go away with the man who loved me and whom I
loved, before false ideas of life and false ideas of duty made him
the husband of another. Conscious that your wife was a hopeless
lunatic whose present or future could in no way be influenced by our
actions, I reasoned that we wronged no one in taking the happiness so
long denied us.
“The last three years of my life have been full of desolation and
sorrow. From the day my mother died, the stars of light which had
gemmed the firmament for me, seemed one by one to be obliterated,
until I stood in utter darkness. You found me in the very blackest
hour of all—and you seemed a shining sun to me.
“Yet so soon as my tired brain and sorrow-worn heart were able to
think and reason, I realised that it was not the man I had worshipped
as an ideal, who had come to me and asked me to lower my standard of
womanhood. It was another and less worthy man—and this other was to
be my companion through time, and perhaps eternity. When I learned
that your insane wife was my sister, and that knowing this fact you
yet planned our flight, an indescribable feeling of repulsion awoke
in my heart.
“I confess that this arose more from a sentiment than a principle.
The relationship of your wife to me made the contemplated sin no
greater, but rendered it more tasteless.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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