New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"You cannot always have me," he answered. "I love you very much, my
little one, but some day I must leave you; my time will have come, and
it may come while your life is yet in its first flower. Then I want you
to be wiser than I. Listen to what I say. I am in a dark humor now, but
it will soon pass, for I can't help being cheerful, as you know; there's
a good deal more sun than shadow in me. But just now I am all shadow. I
feel as if I should never be successful, Claire. That is a queer word to
your young ears. Do you recollect, when I took you for that one day to
the country, last summer, how we set out to climb the large hill, and
were sure, at starting, that we should reach its top? But half way up we
grew tired and hot; there was no breeze, and the way was rough; so we
sat down, didn't we, and rested, and then went home? You have not
forgotten? Well, success means to do what you set out for, darling. It
means to climb the hill--not to get tired and go home. That is what
everybody is trying to do. But only a few of us ever reach the top. And
to reach the top means to have many good things--to be like the grand
people who were once Mrs. Carmichael's friends. Do you understand,
Claire?"
"Yes," said the child. Her lips were parted. A gloom had clouded the
blue of her eyes; they seemed almost black, and two unwonted gleams
pierced them. She was alarmed yet fascinated by the real sorrow in her
father's look, and by his unfamiliar speech, with its fervent speed and
bitter ring.
"I shall never gain the top of the hill, Claire!" Twining went on.
"Something tells me so now--to-night. To-morrow I shall be changed. I
shall turn hopeful again. I shall go climbing along, and pick myself up
stoutly if I stumble. But remember what I tell you to-night. In my
heart, little girl, there is a great fear. I am afraid I must leave you,
when I do die, poor and helpless. We are always helpless when we are
poor. But you must not lose courage. There is one thing a girl can
always do if she has beauty and wit, and you will have both. She can
marry. In the years of life left to me, I shall strain hard to make you
a lady. I am a gentleman. My father, and his father, and his father,
too, were all gentlemen. It is in your blood to be a lady, and a lady
you shall be. But your mother"--Here he paused. Even his raw sense of
wrong, and the precipitate reasoning native to all passion, forbade his
completing the last sentence.
"I know what you mean, Father," said Claire, who had not lost the
significance of a word, and whose mind would have grasped subtler
discourse than the present. She spoke falteringly, and turned her eyes
toward the deserted table; and then, with her shaken, tragic little
voice, she lapsed into the prose of things, slipping over that edge
between the emotional and the ordinary whose unwilling junction makes
the clash that we like to call comedy.
"Father," she said, "please sit down and eat your supper. It's getting
cold. Please do!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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