New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"I have given you back your letters," he responded, standing quite near
the threshold.
"Tell me one thing--do you love her? Is it because you love her that you
want to part from me? I--I have scarcely seen you for weeks. You once
said that a day wasn't a day unless you had seen me. Do you remember?
I've been stupid. But you won't mind so much when you've let me explain
more. Don't go quite yet. Stay a moment, and" ...
He had passed quietly from her sight. She waited until she heard the
clang of the outer hall door. Then she understood what a knell it meant.
The alienation must now be life-long. She had made him despise her, and
she could never win him back. Seated before the fire, that snapped and
flashed as if in jeering glee at her own misery, she wept tears that had
a real pathos in them--the pathos of a repulsed love. She had never
believed herself at fault in her conduct toward Claire. Jealousy had
speedily blackened the filial act of her rival, but in any case the
story, as Mrs. Twining told it, would have roused her conviction that
this desertion had been a most unnatural and cruel one. So esteeming it,
she had played the part of castigator. She was not sure that she would
have done very differently if Claire had not been at all an object of
her hatred. She had not found the least difficulty in persuading herself
that it was wholly a moral deed to use with vengeful intent knowledge
which she would have been justified in using with an intent merely
punitory.
But now she had wrecked all her own future by seeking to destroy
Claire's. Mrs. Twining had broken faith and betrayed her. The passion
which she felt for Goldwin was an irrecoverable one. Her detestation of
the woman who had caused their ceaseless parting grew as she wept over
the ruin of her hopes, and mingled its ferocious heat with the more
human tenderness of her tears. She passed a lurid hour, there in her
little picturesque parlor; she was in spiritual sympathy, so to speak,
with its Oriental equipments. She could have understood some of those
clandestine assassinations which the poisoned draught, the stealthy
bow-string, and the ambushed scimitar have bequeathed to history and
legend. Her past pietistic fervors had left her with no memento of
consolation. A stormy turbulence had taken hold of her mental being, and
shaken it as a blast will shake a bough. In her sorrow she was still a
woman; in her hate she was something grossly below it.
She at length remembered the letters that he had returned to her, and
drew them forth from her bosom. For a moment the anguish of loss gained
mastery in her soul, and she held the packet clasped between both hands,
her eyes blinded to any sight of them, and her frame convulsed with
racking, internal sobs. She knew that she must read them all over again,
and thus replunge into coverts of memory whose very charm and fragrance
would deepen her despair. To re-peruse each letter would be like prying
open the slab of a grave.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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