'I don't know, Mrs. Portheris. It's very comfortable.' 'I never heard of such a thing in my life!' said Mrs. Portheris. 'It's--it's outrageous! It's--it's not customary! I call it criminal lenience on the part of my nephew to allow it, he must have taken leave of his senses!' 'Don't say anything nasty about poppa, Mrs. Portheris,' I remarked; and she paused. 'As to your mother----' 'Momma is a lady of great intelligence and advanced views,' I interrupted, 'though she isn't very strong. And she is very well acquainted with me.' 'Advanced views are your ruin in America! May I ask how you found your way here?' 'On a 'bus, Mrs. Portheris--the red Hammersmith kind. On two 'buses, rather, because I took the wrong one first, and went miles straight away from here; but I didn't mind it--I liked it.' 'In an omnibus I suppose you mean. You couldn't very well be on it, unless you went on the top!' And Mrs. Portheris smiled rather derisively. 'I did; I went on the top,' I returned calmly. 'And it was lovely.' Mrs. Portheris very nearly lost her self-control in her effort to grasp this enormity. Her cap bristled again, and the muscles round her mouth twitched quite perceptibly. 'Careering all over London on the top of an omnibus!' she ejaculated. 'Looking for my house! And in that frock!' I felt about ten when she talked about my 'frock.' 'Couldn't you feel that you were altogether too smart for such a position?' 'No, indeed, Mrs. Portheris!' I replied, unacquainted with the idiom. 'When I got down off the first omnibus in Cheapside I felt as if I hadn't been half smart enough!' She did not notice my misunderstanding. By the time I had finished my sentence she was rapping the table with suppressed excitement. 'Miss Wick!' she said--and I had expected her to call me Mamie, and say I was the image of poppa!--'you are the daughter of my nephew--which can hardly be called a connection at all--but on that account I will give you a piece of advice. The top of an omnibus is not a proper place for you--I might say, for any connection of mine, however distant! I would not feel that I was doing my duty toward my nephew's daughter if I did not tell you that you must not go there! Don't on any account do it again! It is a thing people never do!' 'Do they upset?' I asked. 'They might. But apart from that, I must ask you, on personal--on family grounds--always to go inside. In Chicago you may go outside as much as you like, but in London----' 'Oh, no!' I interrupted, 'I wouldn't for the world--in Chicago!' which Mrs. Portheris didn't seem to understand.