He had no patience with the theories of the newer medical practitioners
who refuse to be frightened by the cry of "professional ethics" or by
the demand that practice shall be "regular" whether the patient survives
or not; and yet while he denounced all forms of mental therapeutics, he
was conscious of a strain of superstition which he could in no wise
overcome. Weird folk-lore and uncanny rites kept up by some of the
primitive people of Hungary had had a strange fascination for him when
he was abroad. In himself, he found a singular mixture of the primeval
savage, and the ultra refined that approaches decadence. Of one thing
alone he was certain. To lose Silvia was to lose his soul; without her
there was neither here nor hereafter. Ruthlessly as he had brushed aside
the one woman in his life who came between them, he was prepared to
thrust out of his way any man who sought to become a part of her life.
It was in this mood that he entered her presence, and in this mood he
accepted her _amende honorable_, which she made with charming humility,
but when she would have led him to the music-room, for once he
hesitated.
"In a few minutes," he said, "but just now there is something I must say
to you. It is true that I was deeply hurt last night, but your regret,
so graciously expressed, emboldens me to think that you would not
willingly hurt me." He stopped, and she looked at him with a rather
puzzled air. "We have been friends for a great while," he said
irrelevantly.
"Yes," she said cordially, and somewhat relieved. "Haven't we? And what
a friendship it has been! A triangular affair, like a loving cup--you
and I and some one of the great masters of melody. Shall it be Chopin
to-night, or shall we begin with something lighter and finish with the
Twelfth Nocturne, as usual?"
She led the way, and stood by the piano, rippling her fingers over the
keys, and he stood before her, his face white and intense with feeling.
He laid his strong, brown fingers over the white ones, and raised them
to his lips, and Silvia laughed a trifle nervously. It was one of his
old-world ways that she liked, but disapproved with all proper
democratic fervor.
"Has it indeed been a loving cup from which we have drunk?" he said,
with passionate sadness. "I dare not think so, I dare not even hope so
much grace! And yet how is it possible that a man should feel what I
feel for you unless there is a response, little as he may deserve
it----"
He paused, and she took away her hand, and laid it lightly on his
shoulder as he sank down on the seat before the piano.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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