An Engagement of Convenience: A NovelZangwill, Louis
General
An Engagement of Convenience: A Novel
Zangwill, Louis
Fiction
Yet when he had told her of his meeting with Lady Lakeden again, and of
the new portrait he had engaged upon, no shade of jealousy had arisen in
her. Her sense of the calamity that had befallen Lady Lakeden was so
infinitely distressing that she could have fallen upon her knees and
prayed. To lose a dear husband after only a few months of wedded
happiness!--what more crushing grief could a woman's destiny hold? She
shut her eyes and shuddered, as she tried to realise the depths of its
meaning. It seemed to her that no wife with the least spark of womanhood
could recover from such a blow; that sorrow and weeping must be her
portion for the rest of her days.
She redoubled her devotion to Wyndham, suddenly full of fear lest she
should have been betrayed into injustice to him out of mere morbidity.
And her mind lingered gently on the figure of this other woman whom she
had never seen, but to whom her heart went out in an impulsive flood of
love and pity. If only she could know her, and let her understand how
deeply she realised her grief! But Wyndham had made no response to her
first involuntary expression of this desire, and she was too diffident
to recur to the point again. Perhaps if she waited patiently he might
suggest such a meeting of his own accord. But the days went, and Wyndham
was silent.
And not only silent, but changed. "Yes, yes. He is changed in a hundred
ways," she cried, "though he does not know he has shown it."
If, for a moment, she had been willing to take refuge in the belief that
over-sensitiveness and diffidence had been leading her into distrust of
the situation, her eyes were suddenly too wide open to allow of any
further indulgence in comfort of that kind. There was no mistaking this
unprecedented self-abstraction, the curious, far-away expression that
was almost stereotyped on his features, the continued inattentiveness to
her words that often required her to repeat her remarks and not
unfrequently ignored them, so that she was continually shrinking into
herself, too wounded to insist again. By the side of this, his former
attitude, little as it had satisfied her, seemed impulsive and
passionate!
His face was grave and sad for the most part, but sometimes it shone
with a rapture which she knew had not been inspired by her! He was not
himself in any way; his smile and laugh had not the old spontaneous
charm. Every note of his affection rang false. And yet, in form, his
solicitude and loving care for her remained the same as always. But this
could not blind her; she knew he was trying his best, but his heart and
mind were not with her. Ah, well, if he cared for anybody, it was
certainly not for her!
"Who has drawn him away from me? Who has robbed me?--who has robbed me?"
For days she had pondered and pondered, her mind faltering, her lips
dreading to whisper the name. Wyndham was painting Lady Lakeden. She was
young; she must be interesting and beautiful.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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