An Engagement of Convenience: A NovelZangwill, Louis
General
An Engagement of Convenience: A Novel
Zangwill, Louis
Fiction
"Great sorrow!" Again that wild peal of laughter. "It was a great joy,
the greatest joy I have ever known. When they brought me the news, I
went out into the garden of our chalet, and, sure that no eyes were upon
me, I danced on the green in the sunlight--with the blood pulsing so
deliciously through my veins. I was free--I was free! The world seemed
so beautiful! the sky and the mountains so exquisite! Life was such a
gift! I was free--free!"
She stood up straight, all her muscles tense, her limbs quivering. The
pallor had gone; her face glowed with an exultation that was almost of
triumph. He stood spellbound at her revelation, unable to find a word.
"Ah, you don't understand what it is to be free again! Degradation! I
tasted it to its depths. Yours was no degradation! You know nothing of
it. I was tied to a brute--no, the brutes are decent and lovable. He was
lower--he was lower."
Her voice broke in a sob, though no tears came. Wyndham was still
silent; he would not seek to penetrate her last reserve. "Don't think me
too horrible," she pleaded. "You are the only living being to whom I
have bared my soul. You were the one to whom my mind flew as my
friend--I have waited for this moment. You must not set me down as a
monster."
"A monster!" he exclaimed. He was thrown off his irksome guard, and the
instant was fatal! "Oh, no, no! I shall always hold you for what you
are, for what you have always been to me--a rare princess!"
"I have always been to you--" she echoed, then broke off, her bosom
heaving, her eyes flashing out with the full comprehension of his almost
unwitting avowal. Then she went pale to the lips again. "You never
spoke," she breathed, "and I did not guess."
He realised, half in a daze, that his secret had escaped him; yet--with
swift change of mood--he was recklessly glad that she understood at
last: even as, standing before her, he, too, understood at last--reading
her distress, treasuring her implied reproach for its clear
significance, though it put him on his defence.
"I was not even on the footing of a guest in this house. The very bread
that kept me alive was not my own. It is the law of the world."
"You were wrong. There is no law."
"There is the law of pride," he argued. "We men do not stoop to
happiness, we stoop only to degradation.... And then I feared to break
the spell," he went on, seeking a lighter strain. "The wonderful
princess would disappear, and I should be left rubbing my eyes."
"But it was you who disappeared. The princess thought you shunned her,
and she was left--to weep--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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