We were a little company of close friends to see Himself go off; no
woman dare go through that ordeal quite alone. It was an officers’
train, some of them so very, very young, and so pathetically proud to be
really going at last in all the panoply of war, with the addition of
brand new pith helmets which extinguished their features when they put
them on, and made them look like overgrown mushrooms.
There was the usual hustle and delay, but at last the signal blew and
the snorting engine dragged them away to the tunnel which swallowed the
hearts of half the women left behind. It was an awful moment, just black
darkness that could be felt. There is something wrong, Cornelia,
something terribly wrong with a world in which such things are possible.
People can’t have been meant to suffer so much, yet somehow I feel that
we have not come to the end of the pain yet. It is Calvary we are
coming to, and this is only getting us ready.
Himself said very little. He just looked wrung and asked some one in a
very quick, hoarse voice to take care of me.
So he is away out into the void, the biggest void of all, and I am left
to fill up and carry on as best I can.
Your dear letter has turned my thoughts into an entirely new direction.
George’s summing up of your feverish war activities in America as
"getting restless in your sleep" is really fine. Tell him with my love
that I did not think he could have evolved it from his gay inner
consciousness. What I am absolutely sure about, is that there is
nothing feverish or casual about _his_ war activities. I shall expect
to receive a photograph of him in uniform. Age? What is Age? It
doesn’t count in this war. The uniform took ten years off Himself’s age
and he will see that they are kept off.
I know a man, one of our County magnates, who has given four sons to the
war. Two have been killed, one still fights and the last has been
invalided out and given a military post at home.
The old man, seventy, if he is a day, has got himself taken on somehow,
and in ranker’s uniform acts as his Colonel Son’s orderly and is very
particular about the salutes!
Love of country is ageless, thank God; Himself thinks before we are
through every veteran will have to take his stand.
Don’t get worried, because you seem to be going slow. Of course, what
you tell me in confidence is a little disappointing. We did think you
were quietly getting ready before the clarion call was sounded.
Well, never mind, you will soon get a move on. You are such a
tremendous big brother. When you really get into fighting trim the
earth, to say nothing of the Kaiser, must tremble.
Tell George to write to me without fail whenever he gets back from
Washington.
I should love to come out to you now, but there is so much to do here
and so few to do it.
I am now strong enough to get into harness again and have been doing
quite a lot of talking at the camps and ammunition works.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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