"Not to a man you cannot love," I hastened to assure her. I was trying
to learn from her the reason of her sudden renewed friendship and
confidence, yet she was careful not to refer to it. Her extreme care in
this particular was, in itself, suspicious.
Her effort at coquetry when at my chambers two days before made it
apparent that she was prepared to accept my love, if I so desired. Yet
the remembrance of Eva Glaslyn was ever in my mind. This woman at my
side had once played me false, and had caused a rent in my heart which
was difficult to heal. She was pretty and charming, without doubt, yet
she had never been frank, even in those long-past days at Shenley. Once
again I told myself that the only woman I had looked upon with thoughts
of real genuine affection was the mysterious Eva, whom once, with my own
eyes, I had seen cold and dead. When I reflected upon the latter fact I
became puzzled almost to the verge of madness.
Yet upon me, situated as I was, devolved the duty of solving the enigma.
Life, looked at philosophically, is a long succession of chances. It is
a game of hazard played by the individual against the multiform forces
to which we give the name of "circumstance," with cards whose real
strength is always either more or less than their face value, and which
are "packed" and "forced" with an astuteness which would baffle the
wiliest sharper. There are times in the game when the cards held by the
mortal player have no value at all, when what seem to us kings, queens,
and aces change to mere blanks; there are other moments when ignoble
twos and threes flush into trumps and enable us to triumphantly sweep
the board. Briefly, life is a game of roulette wherein we always play
_en plein_.
As, walking at her side, I looked into her handsome face there came upon
me a feeling of mournful disappointment.
Had we met like this a week before and she had spoken so softly to me I
should, I verily believe, have repeated my declaration of love. But the
time had passed, and all had changed. My gaze had been lost in the
immensity of a pair of wondrous azure eyes. I, who tired before my
time, world-weary, despondent and cynical, was angry and contemptuous at
the success of my companions, had actually awakened to a new desire for
life.
So I allowed this woman I had once loved to chatter on, listening to her
light gossip, and now and then putting a question to her with a view to
learning something of her connexion with that house of mystery. Still
she told me nothing--absolutely nothing. Without apparent intention she
evaded any direct question I put to her, and seemed brimming over with
good spirits and merriment.
"It has been quite like old times to have a stroll and a chat with you,
Frank," she declared, as we emerged at last upon the lawn, where tennis
was still in progress. The sun was now declining, the shadows
lengthening, and a refreshing wind was already beginning to stir the
tops of the elms.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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