SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. You are not going to plunge us into a European war,
I hope?
MRS. CHEVELEY. There is no danger, at present!
[_She nods to_ LORD GORING, _with a look of amusement in her eyes_, _and
goes out with_ SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. LORD GORING _saunters over to_ MABEL
CHILTERN.]
MABEL CHILTERN. You are very late!
LORD GORING. Have you missed me?
MABEL CHILTERN. Awfully!
LORD GORING. Then I am sorry I did not stay away longer. I like being
missed.
MABEL CHILTERN. How very selfish of you!
LORD GORING. I am very selfish.
MABEL CHILTERN. You are always telling me of your bad qualities, Lord
Goring.
LORD GORING. I have only told you half of them as yet, Miss Mabel!
MABEL CHILTERN. Are the others very bad?
LORD GORING. Quite dreadful! When I think of them at night I go to
sleep at once.
MABEL CHILTERN. Well, I delight in your bad qualities. I wouldn’t have
you part with one of them.
LORD GORING. How very nice of you! But then you are always nice. By
the way, I want to ask you a question, Miss Mabel. Who brought Mrs.
Cheveley here? That woman in heliotrope, who has just gone out of the
room with your brother?
MABEL CHILTERN. Oh, I think Lady Markby brought her. Why do you ask?
LORD GORING. I haven’t seen her for years, that is all.
MABEL CHILTERN. What an absurd reason!
LORD GORING. All reasons are absurd.
MABEL CHILTERN. What sort of a woman is she?
LORD GORING. Oh! a genius in the daytime and a beauty at night!
MABEL CHILTERN. I dislike her already.
LORD GORING. That shows your admirable good taste.
VICOMTE DE NANJAC. [_Approaching_.] Ah, the English young lady is the
dragon of good taste, is she not? Quite the dragon of good taste.
LORD GORING. So the newspapers are always telling us.
VICOMTE DE NANJAC. I read all your English newspapers. I find them so
amusing.
LORD GORING. Then, my dear Nanjac, you must certainly read between the
lines.
VICOMTE DE NANJAC. I should like to, but my professor objects. [_To_
MABEL CHILTERN.] May I have the pleasure of escorting you to the
music-room, Mademoiselle?
MABEL CHILTERN. [_Looking very disappointed_.] Delighted, Vicomte,
quite delighted! [_Turning to_ LORD GORING.] Aren’t you coming to the
music-room?
LORD GORING. Not if there is any music going on, Miss Mabel.
MABEL CHILTERN. [_Severely_.] The music is in German. You would not
understand it.
[_Goes out with the_ VICOMTE DE NANJAC. LORD CAVERSHAM _comes up to his
son_.]
LORD CAVERSHAM. Well, sir! what are you doing here? Wasting your life
as usual! You should be in bed, sir. You keep too late hours! I heard
of you the other night at Lady Rufford’s dancing till four o’clock in the
morning!
LORD GORING. Only a quarter to four, father.
LORD CAVERSHAM. Can’t make out how you stand London Society. The thing
has gone to the dogs, a lot of damned nobodies talking about nothing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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