Interpersonal relations -- Fiction; Spiritualism -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“Oh, dear, no,” she said, simply, without a shade more or less of
feeling in face or voice. “If I were a man, yes, I would go; but as it
is, no. Be grateful that you are a man and have no hampering, cramping
sex limitations to work against in the public mind if not in your own.
You are free to go where you will and to do what you wish, and if it be
but half-way well done, both fools and wise will chirrup your praises.
One thing I ask of you. Throughout your life, never lose an opportunity
of helping womankind to a freer, better, broader life. Do this in
memory of me, and if I meet you in the future, either here or on the
other side of life--should there be another side--I shall not fail to
thank you.”
“I promise, and doubtless shall do more than that, in memory of you.”
The last words had a quaver of agony in them, which she did not sense.
“I have been growing restless of late, too. Some day I shall be
gone--perhaps before long.” She looked afar off with dreamy eyes as she
spoke, and Kendall’s heart ached as he realized at last, that in the
future of her dreams he had no part or place.
“Do not forget, wherever you may be, that I am always your loyal,
humble servant,” he said, gently.
“I am sure of that, and I thank you,” she answered, with kindness in
her voice.
It was like the man that he did not try to relieve his almost bursting
heart by talking of his love for her, even though it was without hope,
but he understood none of the arts of Eros, and was disciplined in
repression.
In truth, it was preposterous that he should dream of winning this
woman, and in a vague way he always knew it; yet he had dreamed. From
the day he first saw her she had enthralled him, an achievement of
which she seemed altogether unconscious, though everybody else read it
clearly enough.
They had met daily in their common home, a boarding-house, for four
years. They had enjoyed concerts, plays and lectures together; had
walked and talked together and been good comrades and yet had never
agreed. Nothing under the sun did they see from the same point of
view, and the topic upon which they thought alike had never been
found. In spite of this, Kendall patiently worshipped at her shrine.
Had he not been of the steady, hopeful, never-give-up brand of lover,
he would have lost heart long before. But he had the confidence of
the self-satisfied and shortsighted, and a heart that held on to its
fancies with the desperate clutch that wins sometimes when finer
methods fail.
To his credit be it said that while his devotion was open and
above-board, for all the world to see, he was never obtrusive. Early in
his acquaintance with his torturer he had learned to take a third or
fourth place about her candle and make no fuss. He was at her service
whenever she needed him, and always out of the way when she didn’t need
him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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