Bildungsromans; Deception -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
"Then I beg your pardon," he said with evident relief. "I have wronged
you. Now I will literally and gratefully, if you will permit the word,
throw myself on your mercy. You see what my home is, and my family I
have children. You have been given some idea of what they think of me,
and what I am in the main; an attentive husband and father, doing his
utmost for the comfort of his home. You happen to have seen me under
damning conditions, and without understanding the—the temptations. And
now you have it in your power to ruin this home and blast the future
of young and trusting lives; as well as break a woman's heart! Or,
you have it in your power to save us all! You are a merciful woman, a
philanthropist, my wife tells me, I believe you will save us. You see I
am not asking justice, but pleading for mercy."
He had not moved her by a hair's breadth unless it were to increase her
indignation. Her voice was steady and cold.
"Did you not have it in your power to ruin two homes, one of them
widowed and fatherless, and did you spare them? You dare to talk to me
of 'mercy' and 'philanthropy' when you were not willing to shelter even
your own fireside!"
He dropped his eyes from her face and worked nervously with the paper
cutter he held.
"You do not understand," he said. "It will be difficult to make you
understand! You are one who makes no allowance for a man's temptations."
She flashed a look of scorn at him, but he did not look at her, and
went on more quickly.
"I don't know what devil possessed me to do as I did that night. I did
not plan it, deliberately. I did not plan any of it, it just happened.
A fellow, whom we called 'the parson' in college, because he always
took those parts in the plays, had just written me about a mock wedding
at which he had officiated, and he was within easy reach. The truth is
the girl tempted me!"
He caught the flash in her eyes just then, and heard and understood her
words:
"Oh, of course; 'The woman beguiled me'!"
He pulled himself together. "I simply mean that she was—was—very
bewildering, and I—" He was finding it hard to explain. He wished that
the woman would look at the floor; or at something, instead of at him!
"I am going to be entirely frank with you," he said at last, with a
sudden assumption of friendliness. "My wife is—we are—not congenial,
not well mated; our marriage was a sort of mockery, from the first, one
of convenience, one may say, on my part. I thought I ought to marry her
because she cared for me, and because well, for family reasons. I never
really loved with my whole soul any woman until I met Daisy; after I
knew her, what seemed really wrong to me, was to continue the travesty
of home life when I knew that home, to me, meant her. I intended, I
fully intended, as soon as the necessary preliminaries could be managed
to set myself free, in order to possess her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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