The reader may be disturbed at Mabel's insistence upon the financial
possibilities of literature, but in this she was only a child of her
time. The point worthy of note is not her rapacity but the dexterity
with which she utilized literature to further her ambition. She was
identifying herself with literature and so fortifying her position.
She was really far better fitted to be the wife of a fictionist than
Imogene. And she could appreciate poetry addressed to herself. The
author eventually saw some of it for a moment, written on sermon
paper, but the stanzas shall remain forever vibrating in his own
bosom. She is memorable to the author, moreover, in that she brought
home to him for the first time the startling fact that every such
woman is, in a sense, an adventuress. She never knows what will happen
next. She is in the grip of incalculable forces. She has to work with
feverish haste to make herself secure and to use even such bizarre
instruments as literature in the pursuit of safety. Back in his tiny
chambers over the old Gate of Cliffords Inn, the author meditated
darkly upon that play that only required "pulling together" to make
it the nucleus of a fortune. Evidently, he reflected, there were
determined characters about, aided and inspired by equally determined
young women, battering upon the gates of Fame, and he felt his own
chances of success against such rivals were frail indeed. So he went
to sea again.
Here, in one short sentence, is the gist of this book, that the sea is
a way of escape from the intolerable burden of life. A cynic once
described it as having all the advantages of suicide without any of
its inconveniences. To the author it was more than that. It was the
means of finding himself in the world, a medium in which he could work
out the dreams which beset him and which were the basis of future
writings. But ever at the back of the mind will there be the craving
to get out beyond the bar, to see the hard, bright glitter of
impersonal land-lights die suddenly in the fresh gusts, and to leave
behind the importunate demands of business, of friendship, and of
love.
"From too much love of living
From hope and fear set free."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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