New Hampshire -- History -- Colonial period, ca. 1600-1775; Portsmouth (N.H.) -- Social life and customs
If Boston in the colonial days had her Mather Byles, Portsmouth had her
Dr. Joseph Moses. In their quality as humorists, the outlines of both
these gentlemen have become rather broken and indistinct. “A jest’s
prosperity lies in the ear that hears it.” Decanted wit inevitably loses
its bouquet. A clever repartee belongs to the precious moment in
which it is broached, and is of a vintage that does not usually bear
transportation. Dr. Moses--he received his diploma not from the College
of Physicians, but from the circumstance of his having once drugged
his private demijohn of rum, and so nailed an inquisitive negro named
Sambo--Dr. Moses, as he was always called, had been handed down to us by
tradition as a fellow of infinite jest and of most excellent fancy; but
I must confess that I find his high spirits very much evaporated.
His humor expended itself, for the greater part, in practical
pleasantries--like that practiced on the minion Sambo--but these
diversions, however facetious to the parties concerned, lack magnetism
for outsiders. I discover nothing about him so amusing as the fact that
he lived in a tan-colored little tenement, which was neither clapboarded
nor shingled, and finally got an epidermis from the discarded shingles
of the Old South Church when the roof of that edifice was repaired.
Dr. Moses, like many persons of his time and class, was a man of protean
employment--joiner, barber, and what not. No doubt he had much pithy and
fluent conversation, all of which escapes us. He certainly impressed the
Hon. Theodore Atkinson as a person of uncommon parts, for the Honorable
Secretary of the Province, like a second Haroun Al Raschid, often
summoned the barber to entertain him with his company. One evening--and
this is the only reproducible instance of the doctor’s readiness--Mr.
Atkinson regaled his guest with a diminutive glass of choice Madeira.
The doctor regarded it against the light with the half-closed eye of
the connoisseur, and after sipping the molten topaz with satisfaction,
inquired how old it was. “Of the vintage of about sixty years ago,” was
the answer. “Well,” said the doctor reflectively, “I never in my life
saw so small a thing of such an age.” There are other mots of his on
record, but their faces are suspiciously familiar. In fact, all the
witty things were said aeons ago. If one nowadays perpetrates an
original joke, one immediately afterward finds it in the Sanskirt. I
am afraid that Dr. Joseph Moses has no very solid claims on us. I have
given him place here because he has long had the reputation of a wit,
which is almost as good as to be one.
VII. PERSONAL REMINISCENCES
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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