Love stories; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
"Prosaic day? You are mistaken, Marian. There never was a period
like it Barbaric principles, older than Abraham, are now to triumph,
or give place to a better and more enlightened human nature. We
almost at this moment hear the echoes of a strife in which specimens
of the best manhood of the age are arrayed against one another in
a struggle such as the world has never witnessed. I have my part
in the conflict, and it brings to me great responsibilities and
dangers."
"Dangers! You in danger, papa?"
"Yes, certainly. Since you wish to be treated like a woman, and not
a child,--since you wish me to show my real life,--you shall know
the truth. I am controlled by the government that is engaged in a
life-and-death struggle to maintain its own existence and preserve
for the nation its heritage of liberty. Thus far I have been able
to serve the cause in quiet, unrecognized ways that I need not now
explain; but I am one who must obey orders, and I wish to do so,
for my heart is in the work. I am no better than other men who
are risking all. Mamma knows this in a way, but she does not fully
comprehend it. Fortunately she is not one of those who take very
anxious thought for the morrow, and you know I am inclined to let
things go on quietly as long as they will. Thus far I have merely
gone to an office as I did before the war, or else have been absent
on trips that were apparently civilian in character, and it has
been essential that I should have as little distraction of mind
as possible. I have lived long in hope that some decisive victory
might occur; but the future grows darker, instead of lighter, and
the struggle, instead of culminating speedily, promises to become
more deadly and to be prolonged. There is but one way out of
it for me, and that is through the final triumph of the old flag.
Therefore, what a day will bring forth God only knows. There have
been times when I wished to tell you something of this, but there
seemed little opportunity. As you said, a good many were coming and
going, you seemed happy and preoccupied, and I got into the habit
of reasoning, 'Every day that passes without a thought of trouble
is just so much gained; and it may be unnecessary to cloud her life
with fear and anxiety;' yet perhaps it would be mistaken kindness
to let trouble come suddenly, like an unexpected blow. I confess,
however, that I have had a little natural longing to be more to my
only child than I apparently was, but each day brought its increasing
press of work and responsibility, its perplexing and far-reaching
questions. Thus time has passed, and I said, 'Let her be a
light-hearted girl as long as she can.'"
"O papa, what a blind, heartless fool I've been!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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