Hungary -- History -- Revolution, 1918-1919 -- Personal narratives; Tormay, Cécile, 1876-1937 -- Diaries
No sound reached me. Only some pebbles, displaced by my steps, clattered
behind me. A branch cracked in the forest; it made me think of a skeleton
wringing its hands in impotent despair.... And if they don’t arrest
Károlyi and his accomplices to-night? Dostoevski’s novel came again to
my mind and from among my thoughts there emerged the shout of a wicked,
shrill voice: “To death with Tisza!” The penetrating mist now chilled me
to the marrow. I felt cold all through.... “Death to Tisza!” It rang in
my ears all the time. Good God, for how many years has this savage cry
been prepared by blinded politicians, by frivolous political _salons_,
by nearly all the press, in barracks, in factories, in the _aula_ of the
University, in the market place, between cellar and attic, in every human
den! For how many years! The work was done by ruthless agitators, and now
it is crowned with an awful success. In the eyes of the crowd he would
not be a criminal who attempted the life of Tisza. His life is outlawed.
The crowd is already prepared for the event. The mob in the street may
clamour without risk or protest for the life of this man: “To death with
Tisza!” I could not stop the fearful cry from ringing in my ears.
For days I had spoken to nobody who belonged to Tisza’s circle. Was he in
town? Had he gone? If only he had gone away!... And I walked along the
mountain path while the hoarse cry followed me, like a vagabond with evil
intent. Try as I would I was unable to shake it off.
Night had fallen and the mist had become dense round our house. The
fort opposite had disappeared and the edge of the mountain had become
invisible. From far away, in the direction where the town lay, the report
of firearms was audible.
In the cold darkness the house appeared so lonely, as if it had been
expelled from communion with the rest of the world. The bonds that had
tied human fates together have been severed, and we know of nought but
what is going on in ourselves. The house was enclosed in a huge, grey
wall of mist.
In the hall I tried to telephone, but could get no answer from the
exchange. The receiver buzzed meaninglessly.
All at once rifle shots sounded from the hills, then came nearer.
Suddenly a shot rang out at the bottom of our garden. Another. That one
was nearer. Then a bullet struck the chestnut tree under my window. It
had a curious effect upon me, for an instant later it seemed as if the
whole thing had happened to someone else—as if I did not really live it,
but just read about it in a book.
I extinguished the lamp, so that my lighted window should not serve as
a target, and then groped my way in the dark to the ground floor, to my
mother’s room. A narrow band of light showed on the floor under the
door. As she was awake I went in. She was sitting quietly in one of the
uncomfortable, high-backed, old-fashioned chairs. At the sound of the
opening door she turned and our eyes met. For a time we remained silent.
The firing outside had stopped too.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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