Hungary -- History -- Revolution, 1918-1919 -- Personal narratives; Tormay, Cécile, 1876-1937 -- Diaries
We have come to this, that in Hungary to-day those who dare to confess to
being Hungarians are tracked down like game. In the Highlands it is the
Czechs, in Transylvania the Roumanians, in the South the Serbians, and in
the territory that remains to us it is the Government who persecutes the
Hungarians.
The bell.... Nothing, only a letter. Those who have never tried it cannot
imagine what it feels like to have ceased to be master of one’s freedom
and to be waiting for strangers to carry one off to prison.
I spent the evening with my mother and, as of old, I followed her if
she went from one room to another: I did not budge from her side. After
supper I showed her a packet of letters which I wanted her to hide among
her own things, so that they might not be found if there was another
search. The letters had nothing to do with politics: they were old,
far-away letters which one never reads again yet does not like to burn,
because it is comforting to know that they still exist—dead letters of
past springs. I should have been horrified if rough strange hands had
touched them.
“Put them there,” my mother said and pointed to the glass case with the
green curtains. As I pushed the little packet in at the back of the
highest shelf I noticed a big box with a paper label on it. Written on it
in her clear handwriting was “Objects from the old china-cabinet.”
“May I have a look at these?” I said. She nodded.
It was as though I had received all the desires and forbidden toys of my
childhood; I pressed the box against me. Then we put our heads together
over the table, in the light of the shaded lamp.... Suddenly the high
white, folding doors of the old house where I had spent my childhood
opened quietly, mysteriously, one after the other, and as by sweet magic
I saw again the old room of long ago and the china cabinet near the
white fire-place, under the old picture in the gilt frame....
Slowly and carefully we unwrapped the little objects that had slept so
long in their tissue paper. My mother had packed them away when we had
come here and when there was no room in the smaller china cabinet of our
diminished dwelling. Since then I had never seen the treasures of my
childhood, and as the years went by they lay enshrined and undisturbed in
my memory.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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