Hungary -- History -- Revolution, 1918-1919 -- Personal narratives; Tormay, Cécile, 1876-1937 -- Diaries
Later on I went up into my room and collected my papers. All the time
I could hear my mother’s steps down below: it was a step that I could
recognise among a thousand others. It always sounds as though she drags
one of her feet slightly, but she does not do so really, it only sounds
like it, and it gives her gait a kind of swaying rhythm. I love to hear
it, for it always reminds me of my childhood. Whenever I dreamed anything
frightful in my little truckle bed that step would come slowly across
the room, and even before it reached me all that was terrifying had
disappeared.
On the ground floor a cupboard was opened: the noise sounded like a sigh;
then drawers were gliding in and out. Beyond the garden the dogs barked.
Now and then violent outbursts of firing rent the hills. But even then my
mother’s steps never stopped. I could hear them passing quietly backwards
and forwards between the trunks in the hall and her room.
CHAPTER III
_Dawn of November 2nd._
It was long after midnight before my mother’s door closed. I hung a
silk handkerchief over the lamp so that its light might not be seen
from outside and then I went through the letters accumulated on my
writing-table. Suddenly a bell rang in the hall. The telephone.... Who
could call so late? What has happened? I ran quickly down the stairs. An
unfamiliar voice spoke to me from the unknown. A terrified, strange voice:
“Save yourself! The Russian prisoners have escaped from their camp. Three
thousand of them are coming armed. They kill, rob and pillage. They are
coming towards the town. They are coming this way....”
“But....” I wanted to express my thanks, but the voice ceased and was
gone. It must have gone on, panting, to awaken and warn the other
inhabitants of lonely houses. For an instant my imagination followed the
voice as it ran breathless along the wires in the night and shouted its
alarm to the sleeping, the waking, the cowardly, the brave. It comes
nameless, goes nameless, waits for no thanks, flies on the torn wings of
shattered, despised human fellowship.
The Russians are coming....
I stood irresolute for a time in the cold passage. What should I do?
Every moment life seemed to present new problems. From the dark hall
I listened for any sound from my mother’s room and looked to see if a
light appeared under her door. But all was in darkness. Should I call
her, tell her? What good would it be? I walked slowly up the stairs.
There was no sound from the room of my brother, who was very ill. They
both sleep.... It is better so. At any rate, it would be impossible for
us to descend that soaked, slippery mountain path in the night. And if
we could, where should we go? Fly? They said that when there was an
earthquake. But where can one find shelter when the earth is quaking
everywhere?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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