They all went away and left me alone in my room. I knew I ought to hurry, yet I stood idle in front of the open cupboard. How many, I thought, are standing, hesitating like this to-night, how many are hurrying and running aimlessly about, not knowing whither to turn? Will it be the same here as in Russia? Quietly the door opened behind me: my mother had risen and came to me so that we might be together as long as possible. “I will take just a few things, very few,” I kept repeating, as if I wanted to force the hand of fate to make my trial short. “Perhaps I may be able to come home to-morrow....” My mother did not answer. She tied the parcels together for me. “The housekeeper must not know till to-morrow morning that you have gone....” She looked out into the ante-room to see that no one was about, then opened the door herself and accompanied me down the corridor. The house seemed asleep, the sky was black, and the courtyard underneath was like a dark shaft in which rain-water had accumulated. Leaning on my arm my mother walked along with me. In silence both of us struggled to keep control over our emotions. At the front door we stopped. Nothing was audible but the patter of the rain. My mother raised her hand and passed it over my face, caressingly, as though she would feel the outlines that she knew so well. “Take every care of yourself, my dear, dear one!” I was already running down the stairs. She was leaning over the balustrade, and I heard her voice behind me, keeping me company as long as possible, calling softly, “Good-night!” “Good-night....” I called back, but my voice failed me in a pain such as I had never felt before. Beyond the street door there was a rattle of gunfire. I tried to keep cheerful, and kept saying: “To-morrow I shall come back to her, to-morrow.” I groped my way across the dark yard and knocked at the concierge’s window. He came out, looking curiously at me in the glare of his lantern: “There is a lot of shooting out there. It would be wiser to stay at home.” But I shook my head and the key turned in the lock; the door opened stealthily, and closed carefully behind me, as though unwilling to betray me. Next instant I stood alone in the rain. I shuddered: my retreat was cut off. Home, everything that was good, everything that protected me, was behind that door, beyond my reach.