An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
History
An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
Wit and humor
Next morning the boys came to school in a cheerful mood, having
resolved on adopting the foregoing plan. They all stood outside the
schoolhouse, waiting for the arrival of the friend who had helped them
in the time of need--since it was he who had originated the plan: it
is the head that is the governor of the legs. The first boy arrived,
entered the schoolroom, and greeted the teacher with “I hope you are
well, sir, but the color of your face is very pale.”
“Nonsense!” said the teacher; “there is nothing the matter with me. Go
and take your seat.” But inwardly he was somewhat apprehensive. Another
boy came in, and in similar words greeted the teacher, whose misgivings
were thereby somewhat increased. And so on, one boy after another
greeted him, till his worst apprehensions seemed to be confirmed, and
he was in great anxiety regarding the state of his health.
He got enraged at his wife. “Her love for me is waning,” he thought. “I
am in this bad state of health, and she did not even ask what was the
matter with me. She did not draw my attention to the color of my face.
Perhaps she is not unwilling that I should die.”
Full of such thoughts, he came to his home, followed by the boys, and
flung open the door. His wife exclaimed, “I hope nothing is the matter
with you! Why have you returned so soon?”
“Are you blind?” he answered. “Look at the color of my face, and at my
condition! Even strangers show sympathetic alarm about my health.”
“Well, I see nothing wrong,” said the wife. “You must be laboring under
some senseless delusion.”
“Woman,” he rejoined impatiently, “you are most obstinate! Can you not
perceive the altered hue of my face and the shivering of my body? Go
and get my bed made, that I may lie down, for my head is dizzy.”
The bed was prepared, and the teacher lay down on it, giving vent
to sighs and groans. The boys he ordered to sit there and read the
lessons, which they did with much vexation. They said to themselves,
“We did so much to be free, and still we are in confinement. The
foundation was not well laid; we are bad architects. Some other plan
must now be adopted, so that we may be rid of this annoyance.”
The clever boy who had instigated the first plot advised the others
to read their lessons very loudly; and when they did so, he said, in
a tone to be overheard by the teacher, “Boys, your voices disturb our
teacher. Loud voices will only increase his headache. Is it proper that
he should be made to suffer pain for the sake of the trifling fees he
gets from us?”
The teacher said, “He is right. Boys, you may go. My headache has
increased. Be off with you!” And the boys scampered away home as
eagerly as birds fly toward a spot where they see grain.
The mothers of the boys, on seeing them return, got angry, and thus
challenged them, “This is the time for you to learn writing, and you
are engaged in play. This is the time for acquiring knowledge, and you
fly from your books and your teacher.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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