Pope Alexander VII. asking the celebrated Greek, Leo Allatius, why he did not enter into orders? he answered, _Because I desire to have it in my power to marry if I chuse_. The pope adding, And why do you not marry? Leo replied, _Because I desire to have it in my power to enter into orders if I chuse_. * * * * * Erasmus, himself a Satirist, collected thousands of the jests of the Greeks and Romans. These more often noted the wit than the witlessness of the speakers and include all degrees of wit from mere whimsicality to sharpest satire. Some of the best ones follow. GREEK A friend asking him how great glory was procured, Agesilaus answered, _By contempt of death_. * * * * * Being asked the boundaries of the Spartan state, he answered, _The points of our spears_. * * * * * One asking him why Sparta had no walls, he shewed him armed citizens, saying, _These are the walls of Sparta_. * * * * * Being very fond of his children, he would sometimes ride about on a cane among them. A friend catching him at this sport, Agesilaus said, _Tell nobody till you are yourself a father_. King Demaratus being asked in company whether he was silent through folly, or wisdom, answered, _A fool cannot be silent_. * * * * * Cleomenes the son of Cleombrotus, when presented with some game-cocks, by a person who, enhancing the gift, said they were of a breed who would die before they yielded; answered, _Give me rather some of the breed that kill them_. * * * * * Pausanias, when a physician told him “You look well,” answered, _Yes, you are not my physician_. * * * * * When the same was blamed by a friend, for speaking ill of a physician, whom he had never tried, he replied, _If I had tried him, I should not have lived to speak ill of him_. * * * * * Charillus, being angry with his slave, said to him, _Were I not in a passion, I would kill thee_. * * * * * A dancer saying to a Spartan, “You cannot stand so long on one leg as I can.” _True_, answered the Spartan, _but any goose can_. * * * * * Another Spartan mother giving her son his shield, when going to battle, said _Son, either this, or upon this_. * * * * * Another to her son who complained that his sword was short, said _Do you add a step to it_. * * * * * One objecting to him his luxurious feeding, he showed him some dear-bought dish, and said, “Would not you buy this, if it were sold for a penny?” “Surely,” said the other. _Then_, said Aristippus, _I only give to luxury what you give to avarice_. * * * * *