An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
History
An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
Wit and humor
poor father; have I then lived to see you the victim of an impious
contest? Thine own offspring lacerate thy unconscious clay?--Far,
oh! far be it from me to strike thy venerated form, whether living or
dead.” No sooner had he uttered these words, than the nobles of the
realm, together with the whole people, unanimously elected him to the
throne; and depriving the three barbarous wretches of their rank and
wealth, expelled them for ever from the kingdom.
_Application_
My beloved, that wise and rich king is the King of kings, and Lord
of lords, who joined himself to our flesh, as to a beloved wife. But
going after other gods, it forgot the love due to him in return, and
brought forth by an illicit connection, three sons, viz., Pagans,
Jews, and Heretics. The first wounded the right hand--that is, the
doctrine of Christ by persecutions. The second, the mouth--when they
gave Christ vinegar and gall to drink; and the third, wounded, and
continue to wound the _heart_,--while they strive, by every
sophistical objection, to deceive the faithful. The fourth son is any
good Christian.
_OF THE INCARNATION OF OUR LORD_
A certain king was remarkable for three qualities. Firstly, he
was braver than all men; secondly, he was wiser; and lastly, more
beautiful. He lived a long time unmarried; and his counsellors would
persuade him to take a wife. “My friends,” said he, “it is clear to
you that I am rich and powerful enough; and therefore want not wealth.
Go, then, through town and country, and seek me out a beautiful and
wise virgin; and if ye can find such a one, however poor she may be,
I will marry her.” The command was obeyed; they proceeded on their
search, until at last they discovered a lady of royal extraction with
the qualifications desired. But the king was not so easily satisfied,
and determined to put her wisdom to the test. He sent to the lady by
a herald a piece of linen cloth, three inches square; and bade her
contrive to make for him a shirt exactly fitted to his body. “Then,”
added he, “she shall be my wife.” The messenger, thus commissioned,
departed on his errand, and respectfully presented the cloth, with the
request of the king. “How can I comply with it,” exclaimed the lady,
“when the cloth is but three inches square? It is impossible to make a
shirt of that; but bring me a vessel in which I may work, and I promise
to make the shirt long enough for the body.” The messenger returned
with the reply of the virgin, and the king immediately sent a sumptuous
vessel, by means of which she extended the cloth to the required size,
and completed the shirt. Whereupon the wise king married her.
_Application_
My beloved, the king is God; the virgin, the mother of Christ; who
was also the chosen vessel. By the messenger, is meant Gabriel. The
cloth, is the Grace of God, which, by proper care and labour, is made
sufficient for man’s salvation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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