An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century — John Shaqi
An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
History
An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
Wit and humor
“In Palestine there once lived a widow with her two daughters,
whose only worldly possessions consisted of a little field. When
she began to plough it, a Jewish official quoted to her the
words of the lawgiver Moses: ‘Thou shalt not plough with ox and
ass together.’ When she began to sow, she was admonished in the
words of the same lawgiver not to sow the fields with two kinds
of seed. When she began to reap and pile up the stacks, she was
told that she must leave ‘gleanings,’ the poor man’s sheaf, and
the ‘corner.’
“When the harvest time came, she was informed that it was her
duty to give the priest’s share, consisting of the first and
second ‘tithes.’ She quietly submitted, and gave what was
demanded of her. Then she sold the field, and bought two young
ewes, in order that she might use their wool, and profit by
their offspring. But, as soon as the ewes gave birth to their
young, a priest came, and quoted to her the words of Moses:
‘Give _me_ the first-born, for so the Lord hath ordained.’ Again
she submitted, and gave him the young.
“When the time of shearing came, the priest again made his
appearance, and said to her that, according to the Law, she was
obliged to give him ‘the shoulder, the two cheeks, and the maw.’
“In a moment of despair, the widow said: ‘Let all the animals
be consecrated to the Lord!’ ‘In that case,’ answered the
priest, ‘they belong altogether to me; for the Lord hath said:
“Everything consecrated in Israel shall be thine.”’ So, he took
the sheep, and went his way, leaving the widow and her two
daughters in great distress, and bathed in tears!”
_A WIFE’S RUSE_
(A Rabbinical Tale)
“There is a Rabbinical law which makes it obligatory upon every
Jewish husband to divorce his wife, if after ten years of
married life she shall remain childless. Now, there once lived
in an Oriental town a man and his wife who were greatly attached
to each other, but who had, unfortunately, no children, though
they had been married for a considerable time.
“When the end of the tenth year of their marriage was
approaching, they both went to the Rabbi, and asked him for his
advice. The Rabbi listened with great sympathy, but declared
his inability to alter or modify the law in their favour. The
only suggestion, he said, that he could make, was, that on the
last night before their final separation, they should celebrate
a little feast together, and that the wife should take some
keepsake from her husband which would be a permanent token of
her husband’s unchangeable affection for her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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