An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
History
An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
Wit and humor
But I, though not enchanted by any magic spell, still, riveted to
the spot by astonishment at this performance, seemed to myself to be
anything else rather than Lucius. Thus deprived of my senses, and
astounded even to insanity, I was in a waking dream, and rubbed my eyes
for some time to ascertain whether or not I was awake at all. At last,
however, returning to consciousness of the reality of things, I took
hold of the right hand of Fotis, and putting it to my eyes, “Suffer
me,” said I, “I beg of you, to enjoy a great and singular proof of your
affection, while the opportunity offers, and give me a little ointment
from the same box. Grant this, my sweetest, I entreat you by these
breasts of yours, and thus, by conferring on me an obligation that can
never be repaid, bind me to you forever as your slave. Be you my Venus,
and let me stand by you a winged Cupid.”
“And are you, then, sweetheart, for playing me a fox’s trick, and for
causing me, of my own accord, to let fall the ax upon my legs? Must
I run such risk of having my Lucius torn from me by the wolves of
Thessaly? Where am I to look for him when he is changed into a bird?
When shall I see him again?”
“May the celestial powers,” said I, “avert from me such a crime! Though
borne aloft on the wings of the eagle itself, soaring through the
midst of the heavens, as the trusty messenger, or joyous arm-bearer,
of supreme Jove, would I not, after I had obtained this dignity of
wing, still fly back every now and then to my nest? I swear to you,
by that lovely little knot of hair with which you have enchanted my
spirit, that I would prefer no other to my Fotis. And then, besides, I
bethink me that as soon as I am rubbed with that ointment, and shall
have been changed into a bird of this kind, I shall be bound to keep
at a distance from all human habitations; for what a beautiful and
agreeable lover will the ladies gain in an owl! Why, do we not see that
these birds of night, when they have got into any house, are eagerly
seized and nailed to the doors, in order that they may atone, by
their torments, for the evil destiny which they portend to the family
by their inauspicious flight? But one thing I had almost forgot to
inquire: what must I say, or do, in order to get rid of my wings and
return to my own form as Lucius?”
“Be in no anxiety,” she said, “about all that matter; for my mistress
has made me acquainted with everything that can again change such forms
into the human shape. But do not suppose that this was done through any
kind feeling toward me, but in order that I might assist her with the
requisite remedies when she returns home. Only think with what simple
and trifling herbs such a mighty result is brought about: for instance,
a little anise, with some leaves of laurel infused in spring water, and
used as a lotion and a draft.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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