An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
History
An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
Wit and humor
Having assured me of this over and over again, she stole into her
mistress’s chamber with the greatest trepidation, and took a little
box out of the casket. Having first hugged and kissed it, and offered
up a prayer that it would favor me with a prosperous flight, I hastily
divested myself of all my garments, then greedily dipping my fingers
into the box, and taking thence a considerable quantity of the
ointment, I rubbed it all over my body and limbs. And now, flapping my
arms up and down, I anxiously awaited my change into a bird. But no
down, no shooting wings appeared. Instead, my hairs became thickened
into bristles, and my tender skin was hardened into a hide; my hands
and feet, too, no longer furnished with distinct fingers and toes,
formed into massive hoofs, and a long tail projected from the extremity
of my spine. My face was now enormous, my mouth wide, my nostrils
gaping, and my lips hanging down. In like manner my ears grew hairy
and of immoderate length, and I found in every respect I had become
enlarged. Thus, hopelessly surveying all parts of my body, I beheld
myself changed--not into a bird, but an ass.
I wished to upbraid Fotis for the deed she had done; but, now deprived
both of the gesture and voice of man, I could only expostulate with her
silently with my under-lip hanging down, and looking sidewise at her
with tearful eyes. As for her, as soon as she beheld me thus changed
she beat her face with her hands, and cried aloud, “Wretch that I am,
I am undone! In my haste and flurry I mistook one box for the other,
deceived by their similarity. It is fortunate, however, that a remedy
for this transformation is easily to be obtained; for, by only chewing
roses, you will put off the form of an ass, and in an instant will
become my Lucius once again. I only wish that I had prepared as usual
some garlands of roses for us last evening; for then you would not have
had to suffer the delay even of a single night. But at the break of
dawn the remedy shall be provided for you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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