An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
History
An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
Wit and humor
“Lofty fortune was your friend, and the eye of your prosperity broad
awake, when you fell into the society of such an old gentleman as I
am, being of mature judgment, well-bred, worldly experienced, inured
to the vicissitudes of heat and cold, and practised in the goods and
evils of life, who can appreciate the rights of good-fellowship,
and fulfil the duties of loving attachment and is kind and affable,
sweet-spoken, and cheerful. I will treat you with affection, as far
as I can, and if you deal with me unkindly, I will not be unkind in
return. _If, like a parrot, thy food be sugar, I will devote my sweet
life for thy nourishment._ And you did not become the victim of a
rude, conceited, rash, and headstrong youth, who one moment gratifies
his lust, and the next has a fresh object; who every night shifts his
abode, and every day changes his mistress. Young men are lively and
handsome, but they keep good faith with nobody. _Expect not constancy
from nightingales, who will every moment serenade a fresh rose._
Whereas my class of seniors regulate their lives by good breeding and
sense, and are not deluded by youthful ignorance.”
_Court the society of a superior, and make much of the opportunity!
for in the company of an equal thy good fortune must decline._
The old man spoke a great deal in this style, and thought that he had
caught her heart in his snare, and made sure of her as his prey, when
she suddenly drew a cold sigh from the bottom of a much-afflicted
bosom, and answered:
“All this speech which you have delivered has not, in the scale of my
judgment, the weight of that one sentence which I have heard of my
nurse, that it were better to plant a spear in a young maiden’s side
than to lay her by an old man in bed. Much contention and strife will
arise in that house where the wife shall get dissatisfied with her
husband.”
_Unable to rise without the help of a staff, how can an old man stir
the staff of life?_
In short, there being no prospect of concord, they agreed to separate.
After lapse of the period prescribed by the law, she united in wedlock
with a young man of an ill-tempered and sullen disposition, and in very
narrow circumstances, so that she endured much tyranny and violence,
penury and hardship. Yet she was thus offering up thanksgivings for the
Almighty’s goodness, and saying:
“Praised be God that I have escaped from such hell-torment, and secured
a blessing so permanent. With all this violence and impetuosity of
temper, I bear with his caprice, because he is handsome. It were better
for me to burn with him in hellfire than to dwell in paradise with the
other.”
_The smell of an onion from the mouth of the lovely is sweeter than
that of a rose in the hand of the ugly._
--_The Rose Garden (Gulistan)._
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Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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