An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
History
An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
Wit and humor
1. LOCMAN the wise being asked, “Whence did you learn wisdom?”
answered, _From the blind, who try the path with a stick before they
tread on it_....
4. HORMUS the tyrant, being asked, why he had put his father’s
courtiers in prison, answered, _Because they feared me; and the
wise say, Fear him who fears thee, though he be a fly, and thou an
elephant_.
5. A religious was famous at Bagdad for his powerful prayers. Hoschas
Joseph, king of Persia, begged him to pray for him. The religious said,
_O God, take away this man’s life! for no better prayer can I make
either for him or his subjects_.
6. An infamous king asked a Dervise, “Of all pious offices, which is
the chief?” The Dervise answered, _For thee, the chief is a long
sleep at noon, that thou mayest, for a short time, cease to injure
mankind_.
7. A courtier being deprived of his place, became a religious. After
some time, the king wished to restore him to his station; but he said,
_Experience has now taught me to prefer ease to dignity_.
7. A slave of Omer, the viceroy, fled from his service, but was
retaken, and brought before the king; who, at Omer’s instigation,
condemned him to death. The slave upon this said, _O king, I am an
innocent man; and, if I die by thy command, my blood will be required.
Permit me then to incur guilt before I meet my sentence. Let me kill
this Omer, my master, and I shall die contented. It is for thy sake
only I desire this_. The king, laughing at this new mode of clearing
his own justice, acquitted the wretch.
9. A master had taught a youth to wrestle; who, proud of his acquired
skill, and possest of more strength than his master, wished to acquire
fame at his expence, and challenged him to wrestle before the court.
The master, by one trick, which he had not taught the youth, threw him
at once: and, the youth complaining that he had not taught him all his
art, the master said, _No. I always provide against ingratitude_.
10. A religious sitting by the highway, the king passed by; but the
religious took no notice of him. A courtier saying “Do not you see
the king?” was answered, _I want nothing of him. Kings are made for
subjects, not subjects for kings. Why then should I respect him who
is the publick servant?_ This anecdote from Sadi differs much from
present Eastern despotism.
11. A courtier went to his master, SUELNUN, king of Egypt,
and begged permission to retire; saying, “Though I am night and day
anxious in thy service; yet the fear of once displeasing thee makes me
wretched.” Suelnun, in tears, exclaimed, _Ah, did I serve God, as
thou thy king, I should be one of the just_.
12. A king condemned an innocent man to death, who said, _O king, thy
anger rages against me, but will injure thyself_. “How?” rejoined
the king. _Because my pain lasts but for a moment; but thine for
ever._ Pardon followed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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