She looked at the brass box lying upon the table, the beautiful antique
whose real nature had been so openly confessed; she looked at the stiff,
three-lined message of decorum; she looked at the letter lying open in
her hand, at the strong, clear lettering of that opening
word.--"_Katrine_!" she murmured beneath her breath,--"Katrine!" The
word came to her ear with a new delight. The commonplace had vanished,
it seemed to breathe of beauty and romance. Her hands retained their
hold of the letter, she raised it from her knee, read it once more and
bit hard upon her lip. "What can he think of me? What impression must
my letters have left, if he can believe that it is _possible_ that I
could agree to such a suggestion? He can't have much respect--"
She fumed, flushed, scorched him with disdain, then suddenly found
herself faced by another paragraph, and suffered a humiliating collapse.
"_The Cranford cramp_." He had seen signs! How had he seen signs?
Could it indeed be true, that while she was complacently denouncing the
narrow-mindedness of her neighbours, the infection had touched herself?
Impulse prompted her to thrust aside so humiliating a suggestion, but a
doubt remained...
Was it possible to live for years in a narrow sphere, surrounded by an
atmosphere of petty detail, and yet keep one's own attitude broad and
free?
With a certain fierceness of sincerity Katrine searched her conscience,
summoned the image of herself before a mental bar, and passed sentence.
_It was true_! Compared with friends from afar; compared even with the
Katrine of years ago, she was slowly, surely stiffening into the
Cranford Model. Another ten years of steady following would find her
with a horizon limited by the High Street and the tennis ground, and a
mind incapable of braving the verdict of a village tea-party. Katrine
sighed; a short, impatient sigh. Self-pride suffered in the revelation,
but she told herself boldly that she was not to blame. She had had no
change, no distractions. Year after year she had vegetated in the same
small place. The past tense came unconsciously to her lips, for already
her thoughts dwelt upon yesterday as a far-off past. Yesterday Jim
Blair had been but a name, the most shadowy of figures; to-day, with
amazing audacity, the shadowy figure had stepped into the very
foreground of life!
Katrine searched her memory for the stray items of information which her
friend's letters had from time to time contained with regard to her
husband's friend. The two men were fellow-captains in the same
regiment. Blair was the senior of the two, but even so his chances of
promotion were small, owing to the hopeless blocking which is the
soldier's greatest handicap. Blair had seen active service, had
distinguished himself in an expedition to Tibet, could with ease have
achieved an exchange, but he was devoted to the regiment, a prime
favourite with the mess, and having private means, preferred to defer
the evil day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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