“Tut, tut! What has happened, Henrietta? As you have been married now
nearly six weeks, you can hardly be surprised at a little tiff arising.
You are so excitable! You cannot expect the sky to be always cloudless.
Most likely you are to blame; for Sidney is far more reasonable than
you. Stop crying, and behave like a woman of sense, and I will go to
Sidney and make everything right.”
“But he’s gone, and I can’t find out where. Oh, what shall I do?”
“What has happened?”
Henrietta writhed with impatience. Then, forcing herself to tell her
story, she answered:
“We arranged on Monday that I should spend two days with Aunt Judith
instead of going with him to Birmingham to that horrid Trade Congress.
We parted on the best of terms. He couldn’t have been more affectionate.
I will kill myself; I don’t care about anything or anybody. And when
I came back on Wednesday he was gone, and there was this letter.” She
produced a letter, and wept more bitterly than before.
“Let me see it.”
Henrietta hesitated, but her mother took the letter from her, sat down
near the window, and composed herself to read without the least regard
to her daughter’s vehement distress. The letter ran thus:
“Monday night.
“My Dearest: I am off--surfeited with endearment--to live my own life
and do my own work. I could only have prepared you for this by coldness
or neglect, which are wholly impossible to me when the spell of your
presence is upon me. I find that I must fly if I am to save myself.
“I am afraid that I cannot give you satisfactory and intelligible
reasons for this step. You are a beautiful and luxurious creature: life
is to you full and complete only when it is a carnival of love. My case
is just the reverse. Before three soft speeches have escaped me I rebuke
myself for folly and insincerity. Before a caress has had time to cool,
a strenuous revulsion seizes me: I long to return to my old lonely
ascetic hermit life; to my dry books; my Socialist propagandism; my
voyage of discovery through the wilderness of thought. I married in an
insane fit of belief that I had a share of the natural affection
which carries other men through lifetimes of matrimony. Already I am
undeceived. You are to me the loveliest woman in the world. Well, for
five weeks I have walked and tallied and dallied with the loveliest
woman in the world, and the upshot is that I am flying from her, and am
for a hermit’s cave until I die. Love cannot keep possession of me: all
my strongest powers rise up against it and will not endure it. Forgive
me for writing nonsense that you won’t understand, and do not think too
hardly of me. I have been as good to you as my selfish nature allowed.
Do not seek to disturb me in the obscurity which I desire and deserve.
My solicitor will call on your father to arrange business matters, and
you shall be as happy as wealth and liberty can make you. We shall meet
again--some day.
“Adieu, my last love,
“Sidney Trefusis.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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