“Two felons pinioned to the same chain do not find time hang heavy: for
they have their escape to think of. But we have no subject of
conversation; we have long since talked ourselves out. A little while
ago he was so far reduced as to talk politics. But even politics are
exhausted, Napoleon, unfortunately for me, having died at St. Helena,
as is well known.
“Monsieur de Fischtaminel abhors reading. If he sees me with a book, he
comes and says a dozen times an hour—‘Nina, dear, haven’t you finished
yet?’
“I endeavored to persuade this innocent persecutor to ride out every
day on horseback, and I alleged a consideration usually conclusive with
men of forty years,—his health! But he said that after having been
twelve years on horseback, he felt the need of repose.
“My husband, dear mother, is a man who absorbs you, he uses up the
vital fluid of his neighbor, his ennui is gluttonous: he likes to be
amused by those who call upon us, and, after five years of wedlock, no
one ever comes: none visit us but those whose intentions are evidently
dishonorable for him, and who endeavor, unsuccessfully, to amuse him,
in order to earn the right to weary his wife.
“Monsieur de Fischtaminel, mother, opens the door of my chamber, or of
the room to which I have flown for refuge, five or six times an hour,
and comes up to me in an excited way, and says, ‘Well, what are you
doing, my belle?’ (the expression in fashion during the Empire) without
perceiving that he is constantly repeating the same phrase, which is to
me like the one pint too much that the executioner formerly poured into
the torture by water.
“Then there’s another bore! We can’t go to walk any more. A promenade
without conversation, without interest, is impossible. My husband walks
with me for the walk, as if he were alone. I have the fatigue without
the pleasure.
“The interval between getting up and breakfast is employed in my
toilet, in my household duties; and I manage to get through with this
part of the day. But between breakfast and dinner, there is a whole
desert to plough, a waste to traverse. My husband’s want of occupation
does not leave me a moment of repose, he overpowers me by his
uselessness; his idle life positively wears me out. His two eyes always
open and gazing at mine compel me to keep them lowered. Then his
monotonous remarks:
“‘What o’clock is it, love? What are you doing now? What are you
thinking of? What do you mean to do? Where shall we go this evening?
Anything new? What weather! I don’t feel well, etc., etc.’
“All these variations upon the same theme—the interrogation point
—which compose Fischtaminel’s repertory, will drive me mad. Add to
these leaden arrows everlastingly shot off at me, one last trait which
will complete the description of my happiness, and you will understand
my life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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